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01-27-18 Handout - Pam Robbinsr 11! 1:.• • II • • .11:::: 11 EMMIlle . Envision: Defining Your Direction in Life Journal Name:• U . Subject: Project SOS: positive Youth Development NNE School: N eGrade: www.ProjectSOS.com 11-', IN tE% I se.mi.E.N.Neeir.•:.: çN4JON FINING YOUR DIRECTION IN YOUR LIFE Authors: Niehole DeMoya 1, 1 1."------Mare Dickerson R 0 E SolGeraldineRamirez Katrina Rogers Special thanks to the people who contributed Project S.O.S.,Inc. 4417 Beach Boulevard,#103 their personal stories: Jacksonville,FL 32207 Caleigh Mayerlyn 904-296-9950 www.projeetsos.com Eric Snow 2014 Project S.O.S.,Inc. Jennifer Pace All Rights Reserved. Mathew Pace No part of this publication may be reproduced,stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form without the prior written permission from Nanette Snow Project SOS. Thank you to the Project SOS Board of Directors and Executive Editors: Management Team for helping this publication become a reality! Margaret Wyles Special thanks to Pam Mullarkey for your dedication to the youth we serve. Bernabe Murguia ISBN:978-0-692-29803-9 Graphic Design:Library of Congress Control#:2014952041 Jamie Mobley Printed in the United States of America 10987654321 0: TABLE OF •. COWTCWTS INTRODUCTION//ENVISION: DEFINING YOUR DIRECTION IN LIFE // 4 LESSON ONE // GOAL SETTINGS // 7 LESSON TWO // LIFE BOUNDARIES // 1 8 LESSON THREE // REFUSAL STRATEGIES // 26 LESSON FOUR// HEALTHY & UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS // 3 3 LESSON FIVE // SUBSTANCE ABUSE // 44 LESSON SIX // MEDIA INFLUENCES // 5 5 LESSON SEVEN // SELF-HARM, BULLYING & SUICIDE // 66 3 E N VI ' S 1 0 N DEFINING YOUR DIRECTION IN YOUR LIFE I will discuss what it means to envision my future and defineSTUDENTOBJECTIVE :my life's direction by setting goals, establishing boundaries and using resistance strategies in various situations. If you Gre workivig om somethivig excitiv,5 that you REALLY care G&&ut, you d m't have to be pushed. The 11151014 p0115 YOU." Steve Jobs 4 CC << CCC << C < C < CCC < CCC « « < CCC << CC << < CCC < CC << CCC C << < CC << < C « « « < s._, "a. "-,. `'° `'; `,. '°amu.. meq.,. ti If you could take a sneak peek into your future,what would you see?What goals would you have accomplished and what people would be there with you?More importantly,what choices did you make along the way to make this vision become a reality?Ifwe close the curtain to your future and return to the here and now,your wheels might be turning and that's the perfect place to be.Who you become doesn't have to just happen;careful thinking and conscious decision making can eventually lead to the best life outcomes. Envision: Defining your Direction in Life, is an "Edutaining" curriculum that meets you right where you are. It teaches you to own the direction of your life, to envision your future and design your life's direction by setting goals, establishing boundaries and using refusal strategies in various situations. These lessons naturally build upon the other as they "educate, equip and empower" you with the life skills needed to make healthy life choices. 5 1 0 O O 4crAnarticlefromPsychologyTodayshareshowdaydreamingaboutyourflawlessworldandpicture-perfect life may be helpful in the short term but could limit your ability to change your dreams into reality if you don't transform your visions into action!' Envision:Defining Your Direction helps you do just that as it encourages you to not only dream but envision how you can realistically protect and accomplish your goals. 6 g ONE Z4 v4 s 9ettin There's an old saying that goes something like this : "You are free to choose,but you are not free from the consequences of your choices."We all make several choices every day;like choosing what to wear,what to eat,what new music to buy and listen to,to study or not to study,what college to apply for,and soon.Ultimately,we are each individually responsible for the consequences of the choices we make;positive or negative.By now,you're probably asking yourself,"What does any of this have to do with envisioning and defining my direction in life?Well,I'm glad you asked. See,if your future is determined by the choices you make every day, then it's important to know that when setting goals your choices can either help you reach them,or distract you and pull you away from them. Setting goals are essential to your success in the future. What is a goal?A goal is basically something you are trying to achieve. What is something you want to do in the future?Have you set goals to help you do it?If not,now is a great time to start! STUDENT OBJECTIVE: I WILL IDENTIFY THE IMPORTANCE OF GOAL SETTING. I WILL LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LONG TERM AND SHORT TERM GOALS, LEARN THE SMART GOAL SETTING TEMPLATE, AND WRITE OUT SMART GOALS. Settim5 ,9 1s is the first step ivi Curvuvog the ivito the visible." - Tovl Robbins 7 TTHRO. 11\! illtillitill UGH It is one thing to have goals, but it is another thing to make an impact with them. Simply put, allow your goals to be used in a way that the world may benefit in a positive way from them. Here are some examples of ordinary people who became famous because they used their goals as a tool for impact. You will notice that on the road to their success, there were obstacles and failures, but they decided in those moments what they were made of. What are you made of? Our choice to fight for our goals has to be the drive we need to impact the world around us. STEVE Steve Jobs was born on the 24th of February in San sold over 6 million units. However, due to some leadership Francisco,California to youngParents who gave him challenges, Jobs was fired from Apple. He did not let that keep up for adoption.He was adopted by a working class family him down and immediately founded another computer company, and raised in Mountain View, California. He attended NeXT. Its machines were not a profitable success but some Homestead High School in Cupertino, California and of the technology was later used by Apple. So, Apple bought went to Reed College in Portland, Oregon in 1972 but Jobs' company (NeXT) and Steve Jobs was back on board with dropped out after only one semester. Soon after, he Apple were he began to focus on more high end devices like the briefly began working with video game manufacturer MP3 player, the iPod, iPhone and the iPad in 2010. Although, Atari but moved on to work for Apple where he helped he faced various difficulties included a fatal pancreatic cancer a friend build and sell computers. With no funding,he diagnosis,his tenacity and brilliance will forever live on because and his partner designed "personal computers" which he dared to create, innovate, and inspire a world with Apple. 8 OAL OPRAHWIN FREY3 Oprah Gail Winfrey was born to teenage parents worked at a local radio station and after graduating accepted a job and raised with her grandmother on a small offer from Nashville's local TV station, in doing so,she became the pig farm in Kosciusko,Mississippi before later moving youngest news anchor at the station. Oprah made her acting debut to Milwaukee,Wisconsin to live with her mother. Her in 1985, when she starred in Steven Spielberg's 'The Color Purple' mother's lack of supervision permitted several male Her performance in the film earned her an Academy Award for relatives and friends to sexually abuse her at a young age, Best Supporting Actress and a Golden Globe nomination for Best causing her to run away often.At the age of fourteen,she Supporting Actress. The rest was"impact" in the making, in 1988, gave birth to a premature baby,who died shortly after she established Harpo Studios, a production company in Chicago, birth.She was then threatened to be sent to a children's making her the third woman in the American entertainment industry home or given the choice to move with her father in to own her own studio, and she soon after began hosting a highly Nashville, TN. She made the choice to live with her successful television show. Oprah since then has written six books, father and decided to focus heavily on her education produced a film of the novel `Beloved, and now owns her"OWN" and not her circumstances from this point forward. television network.' Oprah Winfrey is a true example of defining In high school,she joined the speech team,and placed your life's direction and achieving full success as she pushed through second in the nation in dramatic interpretation.She also the pain of her past and designed a path for her future.Her success graduated with honors,was voted"most popular"and is noted throughout history and has impacted the lives of many won an oratory contest,which secured a full scholarship people all over the world as she uses her influence to build schools to Tennessee State University. While in college she in foreign countries and assist many families with financial support. 9 00 TheiRUTH 66out fri, There is a significant difference between people who4: 1. Don't have a plan 2. Have a plan in mind 3. Have a written plan Author Mark H. McCormack wrote abount significant trends relating to goal setting and success.42.4 O8 O of the population have no goals 14 % of the population have a plan in mind, but have not written down their goals of the population have a written plan The study found that the 14%who have goals are 10 times more successful than those without goals.The 3%with written goals are 3 times more successful than the 14%with unwritten goals. Clearly,a person is more likely to achieve a goal if it is written down¢ l 10 0 CD A R 0 LC Deing SMART Q.) Have you ever said to yourself,"Id like to be a doctor,a lawyer,a game designer,an engineer or some other amazing someone one day...."? Do you envision yourself in the future doing some pretty awesome things? Well,it's totally possible,the sky is the limit,and you can do absolutely anything you put your mind to II if you are SMART. As cliché as that may sound,it's true!By being SMART and setting S.M.A.R.T goals, these dreams become more of a reality, and the likelihood of you teaching them suddenly skyrockets.111\ Iwo types of goals: Short-term goals can be achieved in a relatively A long-term goal is one that usually requires more small amount of time,usually up to 6 months time to achieve. They may take anywhere from two to a year. years,up to 5-10 years to be completely realized. S.M.A.R.T goals are: S P-I, (II1I } I C explicit and well defined I \ FAS V RAB LE outlines the path to accomplishment with a list of steps ACCOUNTABLE monitored by someone who responsibly challenges you to stay on track REAL,T C J C fit within the realm of possibility and align with a persons l J actual skills and talents TImE _ BAsED grounded within a specific time frame or deadline I I K F. P L_. I S -I" 1 G 0 6\-., 40 A010.'fr' wrOLi-F. . „."114 -s.\. 1.- -....., v•. , . 0, 0 ,, , J N\ f__4.• CI S Ur 1(4,() -. . # C--)) r) 4Wi, ' A q)/.., 8--)-- • O 0 ,-- gal G- IL- mor,v, ion A, ,„ >,,,c;\ i g , \ Lici\AE 30t,Se,o6 Your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have..." Author Unkown Read the following instructions to complete the SMART goal activity on the following pages: On the next page,use the SMART goal setting strategy that you just learned to create a long term goal and short term goal.Make sure that each goal meets those standards.Each goal must be Specific,Measurable, Accountable,Realistic,and Time-based. MyGoals:Exmp ( e Goal: My Academic Goal Long Term or Short Term: Long Term S)pecific Goal: Finish high school with a 3.5 GPA M)easureable Steps: Complete all homework on time and correctly Study an extra 2 hours each week for upcoming tests Make all A's and B's from this year forward A)ccountable: My Mom R)ealistic: Yes,I currently have a 3.0 T)ime-based: In 2 years by my graduation date 12 Your Turn! Goal: Long Term or Short Term: S)pecific Goal: M)easureable Steps: A)ccountable: R)ealistic: T)ime-based: Goal: Long Term or Short Term: S)pecific Goal: M)easureable Steps: A)ccountable: R)ealistic: T)ime-based: 13 r, CCCCCC < r So, what does it JI. really mean to be "on track? Well, it's simple; you a .441 must set progress markers to ensure K that your goals are accomplished. A progress marker is simply a guide or checking 4< gliiiiii1P444 point to gauge how well your progress is coming along. Now with some goals, there are natural progress markers to help you maintain your success. For example, if you were a part of a sports team and your team's goal is to make the championship, the natural progress markers would be determined by the record of wins verses losses. With other goals, there are not natural it114Y progress markers, which means it is critical that you are working on small tasks to ensure you achieved those goals. Let's say a person wants to become a valedictorian, or own their own business one day, it can be hard to know how they are doing toward their goal. A system you can use to help guarantee that you are on track is called self-monitoring. Self-monitoringlic;1° 441441111tis used to indicate conscious progress with regular intervals (like once a month). For example, if your goal is to maintain an"A"average in your Math class you could talk with your teacher every week to make sure that you are all caught up on tests and homework.This way you are in control of the goal,which is to maintain an A. No longer do you have to leave your goal up to chance.Being on track has never been easier. Realizing you have control over your progress is the motivation needed to achieve complete success.So,take control,take responsibility to measure your own progress on the way to your goal. 14 44 ehmw, ‘ 11, 4 1 It 4ijikts , if 114 ilirILJ I 411" as• III III IIII C E L E 0 R A T E SttiC/CerS Some goals take I o n g e r than others. Also, some goals may have some elements to them that are boring or repetitive. Let's face it, doing the daily things that it takes to reach a goal are not always fun. One way to stay motivated is to recognize that if you alter some tasks and make some small changes as needed, you can make the process of reaching the goal more fun. For example,if you are a runner and you need to practice,go to a beach or a scenic place to practice running to change things up a bit.If you need to study during the weekend to keep up your grades,find a friend who also needs to study and find a cool study spot. You can add a challenge to a task that may have otherwise been boring.You can build natural rewards into tasks by altering the way a task is accomplished.Other ways to reward your success could be to treat yourself by hanging out with friends or buying yourself something you've wanted. Whatever you do,get creative and enjoy the ride on the way towards reaching your goal and celebrate the successes along the way. 15 Mb 0 0 A 0 0 GOAL TARGET COMPLETION DATE DATE Whekek obsEacLes arise, you ckakek9e your direcEio t Eo reack your joaL; you do vko1 ckakek9e your c ecisiolek Eo geA Ekere;"Z 3 Zi9Lar 16 Journal page CHAPTER TWO oun aries Learning the value of setting S.M.A.R.T.goals will pay off really big one day! Just ask anyone you know who's experienced any level of real success in life;I'm sure they can tell you how setting goals has helped them live out their dreams!But,they'd probably also tell you that protecting those goals is just as important as setting them. Like anything valuable,you want to protect it at all costs from anything that may threaten,hurt,damage or steal it. A boundary is a great way to protect your valuables,which in this case, are your goals.Boundaries are self-limits which help protect your goals and dreams and help you stay clear of harmful situations. Picture a major interstate or really busy highway. Now think about the dividing lines you often see. Some of them are solid, some are like dashes or broken lines, some are straight, some curve as the road curves, and so on. Well, these lines are actually boundaries. They help keep drivers in their own lane, and by doing so they also help prevent accidents and crashes. While your lane may have solid lines, the next lane over may have broken lines. It's important that you follow the lines in YOUR lane for YOUR own safety,and let the other cars follow the lines in their lanes. It's the same with boundaries; your boundaries are important because they are helping protect YOUR goals, and help keep YOU from harmful situations. STUDENT OBJECTIVE: I WILL BE ABLE TO DEFINE PERSONAL BOUNDARIES. I WILL IDENTIFY THE SIX PERSONAL BOUNDARIES THAT CAN HELP PROTECT MY LIFE VISION AND GOALS. I WILL DISCUSS WHICH BOUNDARIES TO ESTABLISH IN ORDER TO PROTECT MY VISION AND GOALS AND CREATE A PLAN TO IDENTIFY MY PERSONAL BOUNDARIES. 8ouvid6ries Gre to protect Life, mot to limit plefsures." Edwivi Lois Cole DGrivi,C to set houodGries is Gbout h6vimg the course to love ourselves, ever whem we risk disc p poivitivig others." 8revie 8rowvi 18 JEN, s ST 0 Ry. One goal that I set when I was 17 years old was to make a commitment to be abstinent until I was married. I had just gotten out of a two TI-1 E i"+ I G Handahalfyearrelationshipwhereweweresexually active. My ex-boyfriend had cheated on me with SC H 00 two different girls. To say the least, it was hard Y E A R S to deal with from many levels,especially,emotionally. So, I decided to be abstinent from sex, drugs, and alcohol. I wanted to avoid all of the things that would make me more likely to get involved with the wrong kind of guy. After all, the only way that I knew to do this was to avoid certain things. For one, were a lot of costs associated with these boundaries. It cost I set a people boundary. I could not let myself me friends. It cost me having a lot of boyfriends because be around my ex or I would be tempted to get not many guys that I knew had those standards. The longer back into a relationship with him. I realized that I had these boundaries, the more the costs were worth it I was worth more than being cheated on, so I because I began to learn the facts. I learned that couples broke all ties with him. I did not hang around him. who have been abstinent before they marry are less likely to I did not write him notes. I did not return his divorce.'6 I learned that couples who do not live together before calls. I did not go to the same places that I knew they get married are less likely to divorce.b.6 I figured that if a he would be. I set time boundaries. I took some guy practiced self-control in a dating relationship with me,then time aside to get my head clear before I dated if we married, he would have already learned self-control if again. I set up major boundaries in my life... another girl tried to get his attention.So,these costs were worth and yes, there was a cost associated with those it to me.I believed that setting boundaries before I was married boundaries. would strengthen my marriage. It was worth it. Boundaries After a while I wanted to date again, so I set up more boundaries. I would not helped me. I was abstinent for 8 years before I married Mat. Those 8 years were hard and not always perfect, but it was date guys who did not have a commitment worth it. I was able to graduate from college, get a great job, to abstinence. I set physical boundaries. I would not and find a guy worth my love and affection. I have been do more than kiss. I would not even allow myself happily married for 4 years. alone time with a guy that I was dating in a house Now, I still I have boundaries, but they are different. My or apartment. I set place boundaries. YES, there boundaries are now related to my new goals. 19 C63 r 44\ IP a . .Q.; 4/,/,k p,, 70 / .,chstauf OL....,: c.-. e.).•0 (. 6, 161/ 4144 \-11g1111s_ ' 7\44i..° 146 : '. ( SY./( 1. C<-\ 1 b \/-%_4f ge °v0 ddr 4,15k--, vv6pp-- J Ilitrith ' e 4.,:trox3 a 6 • k ).). 711) 41 ( IA -,— 14/tyv- --Dg . ,Ivo! w.riv'ewii!° prof /. 1 Qp ISI • i4 ,_.... a 1 T Nil 1ft 0 1.:::> \11-1, Having personal boundaries is a lot like needing your own personal space or `bubble. Not only do boundaries help protect your personal space, they also protect your emotional, relational, and mental space. But why do we need boundaries? Do boundaries stop us from living life to the fullest? Actually, boundaries allow us to live life to the fullest because they protect us and allow life to be more interesting. Here is another example on why we all need boundaries. In the game of basketball,players need to obey a set of'rules'in order to enjoy the game and score points.If there were no'out of bounds'or'traveling'rules, then everyone would be able to do whatever they wanted and the game would never get anywhere!Boundaries al- low the game of life to be more fun because they keep the game in play. So just remember, having boundaries allow you to live your life to the fullest by protecting you and your goals and dreams! 20 P R E IOTCT N 0 L,,_ DIRECTION Consider this quote by Dr.Henry Cloud: Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility forgives me freedom. Taking responsibility for my life opens up many different options. Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out. Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes them. You are the one who must live with their consequences. And you are the one who may be keeping yourself from making the choices you could be happy with"" Setting personal boundaries is a big theme in today's mental health counseling. Boundaries are self-limits which protect your goals and help you stay clear of harmful situations.At Project SOS,there are six personal boundaries you can use to protect your goals.These are Time,People,Place,Media,Physical and Dress.In setting time boundaries,it is important to ensure that you pay careful attention to how you are using your time.As mentioned in the goal setting chapter,all goals are time-sensitive and not guarding your time could cause a person to forfeit a dream.People boundaries encourage you to think about the question,who am I surrounding myself with? The people in your life either push you toward your dreams or snatch you away.Show me your friends and I'll show you your future.Therefore,if you want to protect your direction,choosing the right relationships are essential.Place boundaries have everything to do with being in the wrong place at the wrong time which can lead to the wrong choice or consequence or being in the right place at the right time which can lead to the right choice or consequence. Sadly, many people without place boundaries have learned hard lessons that in some cases caused them to end up in goal or even life compromising situations.Where you go can truly effect where you are going,so be sure to establish a place boundary to ensure your temporary destination doesn't negatively influence your future destination.The 21 P R 0 T E 0 1T N 0 rI ( l r W V 1T N 0 r c,owi internet has so many positive and negative benefits.As a result, who you really are and where you desire to go?Although we often it is important to set media boundaries and limit the amount of dislike it when people stereotype,what you wear can help or hurt information you share,the amount of time you spend using it, your dream so establish dress boundaries and protect your image! and monitor how you use it.Avoid cyberbullying and negative A majority of the time,people find themselves involved in difficult posts at all costs,any negative sites(pornography,etc.).In terms situations or surrounded by certain people simply because they of physical boundaries, what you do to your body and with failed to stand firm to their boundaries.Once this happens and your body is important and can encourage or discourage a goal. the damage is done,then a person has to go back and figure out Substances and Sexual Activity have natural consequences that where they stand and what they will stand for in the future.For when used or engaged prematurely can lead to various goal and example,think about the last time you made a mistake that you health threatening situations. Protect your body to ensure you later regretted. Who were the people involved? What choices are physically able to accomplish the life goals you set. Lastly, did you make that led you to making that mistake?If you had in 5 seconds or less people form impressions and stereotypes of set boundaries and stuck to them,how would the situation have others.What would someone say about you based on what you been different?Would you have as many regrets as you do now? are wearing?What image are you portraying?Does it align with 22 Journal Page Understanding the value of our future helps us understand our individual responsibility to protect our goals with proper boundaries. In what way can you help protect the future goals of others by respecting their personal boundaries? 23 9, .. j Q., v1 Having a vision for your life and goals x that align to that vision provide the 61 nu needed direction to"live your dream' fli 1 i Goals represent where you are going but BOUNDARIES represent the Z 3 much needed protection to ensure your goals become a reality. It's not enough to only have a S.M.A.R.T plan but you must have a plan to protect it. If Dr.Cloud says that boundaries define who we are and who we are not,take a couple minutes to think about who you are or who you want to be.In the spaces below,write down a few ideas of whatQ) 0 type of boundaries you want to implement into your life that will be a good representation of who you are. Write down your long term and short term goal. Long Term: Short Term: What are your weaknesses?What tempts you, both people and things? Ex. I love to dance and although I know I shouldn't go to every party, it's so hard to turn down a good time. Based on these weaknesses, identify the boundaries that could help protect your goals and help to keep you focused on them. 24 Time: Media: Ex. I would need to leave parties earlier to make sure that Ex.There is too much drama on some of my social media I don't keep too relaxed and comfortable in environments sites. My friends are always posting crazy pictures from that might not be the safest. parties and I don't want something to catch up with me later. People:Dress: Ex. Some of the people I call my friends really are not Ex. I'm tired of being stereotyped; people assume because making the best choices right now.They keep pressuring of the way I dress that I am a certain person... I just me to go to drug parties even though they know I don't like like looking trendy. Maybe I'll adapt the trend to fit my that kind of stuff. personal style. Place: Physical: Ex. I will have to simply turn down some parties because I Ex. I have been dating for almost a year now and recently know that they are not the safest environments, and I don't the conversation of taking things to the next level has come want to risk losing my track scholarship. up.This has made me uncomfortable because I feel like things are fine the way they are. I'm not planning on going any further than kissing... period! 25 ft E FUSA CHAPTER THREE strategies So, by now you've had an opportunity to discuss the importance of putting boundaries in place to help protect your goals and dreams. It's a concept that's really worth hanging on to! Your future is so bright! Now, do you like sports? If so, which one is your favorite; basketball, football, soccer, tennis, etc...? Have you ever really paid attention to the defensive aspect in say—football? When a team is on the defense, they are doing all they can to protect their end zone, and keep the other team from scoring a touchdown. Each team member is playing a position that helps "enforce" the protection of the end zone from their opponents. When you think of boundaries in this sense, it may be a little easier to understand that boundaries must be enforced by something as well; and we call these Refusal Strategies. Boundaries are those protective barriers, and Refusal Strategies help us enforce them. Basically, they are the HOW and WHY we say NO! Saying no isn't always enough, sometimes you need to have skills to help you stick to your "NO" especially when the other person is persistent and not taking"NO"for an answer. Learning HOW to say"NO"makes you eligible to say"YES"with confidence. STUDENT OBJECTIVE: I WILL DISCUSS THE STRENGTH IN VOICING AND DEFENDING MY BOUNDARIES. I WILL IDENTIFY THE FIVE PRESSURE STRATEGIES AND SIX REFUSAL STRATEGIES THAT CAN HELP ME RESIST UNHEALTHY CHOICES AND PROTECT MY BOUNDARIES. I WILL DISCUSS WHICH REFUSAL STRATEGIES TO PERSONALLY ESTABLISH IN ORDER TO PROTECT MY BOUNDARIES. you have to decide what your highest priorities Gre and have the courage - pleasantly, svv iCiv SCy, G polo,etically - to to other things. And the wG y you do that is b y having G 6i55er `yes' 6urviivig inside." Stephen R. Covey 26 MICHELLE'S STORY: N ow,no matter what you look like,where you HANDL !NDlive,how old you are,or what your parents L 1 N G do for a living... everyone has pressure. Pressure to drink,smoke,do drugs,be in a relationship,or have T H E sex.Pressure to want to fight if everyone is gathered around yelling"Fight!"Or to cheat on a test when Pf55(JR5 <«you didn't remember to study.The difference is how i you choose to let pressure affect you. My life started out like the soda can that was full.I OF LIFE knew I was valuable and unique.My mother encour- aged me in my gifts and talents,and basically kept me filled up and feeling good about myself.My life That time,when the pressure came,because I was totally empty seemed great-for a while.My mom was my best on the inside,I said"yes."And I was crushed. friend growing up.I'd run home to talk to her after I felt so bad and stupid for doing something that I didn't even school,and I'd tell her everything about everyone.I want to do.I cried with both my eyes and heart.I wish I could say I trusted her. the trauma I felt was enough to make me stop right there,but it When I was 16,that all took a turn for the worse when didn't.I was caught in a lifestyle that I didn't know how to get out my best friend,my mother,lost a 3-year battle with of.I'd try to stop having sex,but nothing would work-I would cancer and died at the peak of her life.I was totally always give in to the pressure.One day I heard someone say,"If devastated;it was the first time I had to deal with you want something you've never had before,then you have to do death and it was my own mother.I didn't realize it something you've never done before."It was then that I realized then,but that tragedy was like a hole being drilled I needed to change some things in my life,but it didn't happen in the bottom of my can.Little by little,I started to overnight. leak out and eventually became empty.I had no one I changed the music I listened to.I changed the movies I watched, to fill me up and didn't know how to do it myself. which were all about people in and out of bed without conse- My self-esteem suffered.I felt like no one loved me. quences.I even had to change some of the people I was friends I reached out for my dad to fill the emptiness in my with,those who had a negative influence on me.Changing what I life,but it was not there for me. surrounded myself with was a big part of what has helped me to I was going out with a guy.We were together on and remain abstinent for four and a half years now. off for about three years.He pressured me to have So,I encourage you,if you are not making some of the best choic- sex,but it wasn't loud and obvious. He was sweet es,today is a good day to stop and turn your life around.Start and subtle.He'd say,"I'm ready,are you?""Do you making healthy choices for yourself.Don't be afraid to change want to?""I think I deserve it,we've been together some of your old habits,and be prepared to stand against the this long."I'd always say"no,"but when he asked a pressures that will come. couple of months after my mom died,I said"yes." 27 LE1 KCCours ' E ' - for bouwlaries Is essevi- protectilig our plasningto Atiatid up g yet forthese br'es : evet1 eta tit. Research from a journal published by Oxford University supports this idea and states how increasing our boldness and confidence empowers us to say no without apologies and can help us avoid various harmful situations.' Having confidence provides us with the courage needed to put ourselves first and simply recognize that some choices do not align with where we are heading in life. Certain 'detours" are not worth the risk, but we often give in because we want to win the approval of others. At some point, we have to stop being afraid of what other people will think of us and make the kind of choices we can be proud of! sl%tiE PRESSURE STRATEGIES z : '„ .with confidence takes you E•knowing the pressuring strategies C C C 4 ••that people attempt to use on us. One part of saying "yes” has everything to do with knowing if someone is trying to pressure you and how they are trying to pressure you. Let's uncover some of these pressure strategies. THE GUILT TRIP This strategy involves a friendship where you spend so much time with that person you begin to have almost everything in common. Sometimes the person that you have so much in common with will try to bring you down if you start to change, especially if you start talking about pursuing other interests and growing as an individual.For example,you may start pursuing other things and talk about moving I away to college. If your friend begins to guilt trip you and says things like"what,are you're too good for me now?"then they are using the"Guilt Trip"pressure strategy.III THE OUTCAST THE LABEL This strategy involves one friend This strategy involves a person who was once a part of the group pressuring the other by threatening but decided to change their behavior. When he or she begins to to leave them out of future events. refuse certain situations, their"friends"begin to make them feel For example: If you do not do this, then bad about their positive choices.They may say,"Oh,so you think you will not be invited to parties anymore. you better than us now?"If this happens,they are using"the label" Or: If you do not go along with us, pressure strategy. then you will not be a part of the circle. If this happens you are being"outcasted." THE WEAR DOWN THE THREAT This strategy is the opposite of the Instant Oftentimes, a person will be fearful Replay Refusal Strategy.The goal is to pressure that if you refuse to do something with a person over and over until they eventually them it means that you might not like say yes,even though they have already said no. them or you might tell someone on them. They will react and make a threat. to pressure you into joining them. 29 REFUSAL Say no and stick with it. S 4' Keep with the same response. R AT E G E S This method is more of an art than anything. The second part of saying"yes"has everything to do with Be sure to: knowing how to say"no"with confidence.Below are Act confident // Be direct // Make eye contact // Explain if necessary // various ways to shamelessly protect your goals: Stand firm // t Say no and leave when you know that the person is not taking no for an answer. There are times when you have to say"no"and run.You Say no to the negative idea don't stay and explain.The only then provide a positive idea instead. thing that is important in this This skill is designed for a situation where moment is your safety.This skill a friend or a family member is encouraging is the Resist and Run! you to do the wrong thing.You would say"no"Say no and give an excuse and then provide a positive alternative to the why. Have you ever been in a negative situation. situation where you didn't want to do something but you didn't know Some healthy alternatives:how to get out?This skill,the Excuse Let's play basketball // Go get coffee // Go the is simple—If someone is asking you to beach // Go bowling // Go skating // Go do something that you do not want to the movies // Go swimming //to do...simply explain"I can't because':..and that is it. Change the subject completely from the negative situation.Each resistance skill works the majority of the time,but in some cases a more creative approach to refusing is necessary. We call this next skill the Distraction.You can use this in a situation where a person does not want to take no"for an answer.Create a distraction(say or do something funny)to completely change the subject so that they will possibly forget what Create a scenario they were saying all together or simply that might be untrue to get realize you're not interested and will out of a negative situation(ex.Your leave you alone. dog just died;text a friend and have them call you,etc.) In many situations you might have to be a little more cunning so that you can quickly leave situation and not make it a big deal.The Escape is great way to leave a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable.If someone is asking you to do something create a scene and leave.Ex."Oh look up in the sky,it's a bird, its plane,its':..then leave...Ex."Omg,I forgot I had to pick up my little sister from school today!I am so late, see ya later!" Fhroughout this cha ter have been iven the skillschapter, you9 necessary to be able toprotec your ersonap boundaries by remaining CONFIDENT in your N 0 . , Byusingthese refusal skills throughout your life,9 you will be able to say 'no' to the things that can take you away from your dreams and !Y es" to those that will wakeour dreams become a reality!Y So here is your opportunity to reflect. In the space below, write a personal mission statement about how you are going to stand up for yourself and your dreams by setting personal boundaries and using refusal strategies to protect those boundaries. Ex. "From this day forward, I will stand up for myself by saying 'no' to things and people that take me away from my dreams no matter what it costs me." 4 Journal Page Often times we use words like"NO"and"YES"without even putting much thought into it.But,again,learning HOW to say"NO" makes your"YES"really stand out and impactful. Think about it,if you said"YES"to everything that tried to distract you from achieving your dreams and gave into everybit ofpeer pressure,then your"YES"becomes just a word,and doesn't carry anyweight. Just imagine what your life would be like if all you ever did was "go along with the crowd'; or "follow the leader, even if it meant putting yourself in dangerous situations". How would it feel to have absolutely no decision making power? Well,that doesn't have to be the case.You have the power to stand up for yourself and say"NO"to those kinds of things. Question: How would you help a family member or a friend who was having a problem saying no to negative behaviors?What would you say to them in order to empower them to make healthy life choices? Write down a few of your thoughts below: IR AI gig 1?,/ There's et4anoldsaying that goes "Show f...44,me your friends, and I'll show you your future". Basically,what it means is that weA,i),,,,,are all somehow influenced by the people who we keep closest to us. We addressed the power of pressure in the previous chapters and how all influence is not always positive. What if you had a 4ICI friend who was constantly pressuring you to do something really dangerous or inappropriate?Would you really consider that person yourfriend?Whyorwhynot?Wouldyousaythattheyvaluedtheirrelationship with you?In this chapter,we will discuss your answers to these thoughts within two different types of relationships:friendships and dating relationships.Together, we will answer the question "what makes a relationship healthy or unhealthy". STUDENT OBJECTIVE: IDENTIFY THE CHARACTERISTICS OF A TRUE FRIENDSN IDENTIFY THE CHARACTERISTICS OF HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY DAT- HINCRELATIONSHIPS I SP 33 HE4 LTI4Y FRIENDSHIP q - s sett . VS,9nc& Singer songwriters,Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez,met at a pivotal UNHEALTHYpointinbothoftheircareers. Both of these women had major record deals and both had experienced their first hit singles.Since R EL A NSHIPmeeting,they have continued to become close friends.What makes their friendship healthy?Although both of their careers have taken BrG off in the movie and music industry, they both find time to keep their friendship strong by spending quality time together and being L%Ct!.Vtit/9 honest with each other.In an interview,Selena said this about her In 2009,celebrity couple Chris Brown and Rihanna found themselves BFF Taylor,"It's nice just to be able to pick up the phone and be like, in a media storm after allegations were made against Brown for Ugh,I had this person say this and it's annoying,and have someone domestic violence.According to police records,Brown and Rihanna understand and really get what you're going through,"she added."I were driving home when they began to argue.Brown then reached think that's our main connection.I just enjoy having people in the over and began to punch,bite, and strangle the singer repeatedly. business in my life because it helps."Like Selena and Taylor,a healthy Once police arrived on scene,photographs were taken of Rihanna's friendship is based on communication and support.They support bruised and bloody face, neck,and arms. Brown was sentenced to each other's dreams and are able to turn to one another for help. serve jail time and a 52 week domestic violence counseling program. Since 2009, Brown has continued to work to put the incident behind him and repair his relationship with Rihanna. Their on- again-off-again relationship revealed true characteristics of an e S f L 1 unhealthy relationship. Verbal, physical, or sexual abuses are all serious indications of an unhealthy and dangerous relationship. MOUrVi I 7//` ? f)u1A.)-\l a d Sh o'd o(A, nSU(-1-- N7(4a+SISUinU1 34 b.uNHEALT ,f Despite popular belief,abuse is common among teenagers and it is 41111i. stGfiistics one main characteristic of an unhealthy relationship. A few ways to stop abuse is to define it,describe it, and then stop it. Abuse by way of definition is a cruel or violent treatment of a person. There are 1 1 several types of abuse: physical, mental,verbal, emotional,sexual, stalking,and cyber.It is very vital to know the facts so that you can help yourself,your friends,and family. Physical S Verbal Abuse 6 2 °/O of tweens(age 11-14)who have bgen in a relationship say they know friends who 1 I have been verbally abbsed(called stupid,Wort!hles ugly,etc) by a boyfriend/gitlfriend. 10 1 IN eenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, I slapped, strangled or physically hurt by their partner. " 11N 4Mrethan teenage girls in a relationship(26%) report enduring repeated verbal abuse. 10 1 IN adolescents in the U.S. is a victim o physical,sexual, emotional or verbalbuse'from t-4 of a dating partner,a figure that far exceeds rates of oth r types youth vibleie. 10 1 IN 1 O high school students has been purposefully hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend. 35 Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviors such as threats,insults,constant monitoring or"checking in;excessive texting,humiliation,intimidation,Isola- tion or stalking." Repeatedly receiving unwanted telephone calls,voice,or text messages was the most commonly experienced stalking tactic for both female A and male victims of stalking(78.8%for women and 75.9%for l men)." Net , : ... .; ; ;, • ., ' 2 ,• ; • . . • . 7. 0o,• 0000.. o.....;>........................•••. 0"..." r ip. es y Sexual abuse can occur in same-sex and oppo- site-sex relationships." 1 of 6 males will be sexually assaulted in his lifetime.12 57%of rapes occurred on a date.'3 84%of women who were raped knew their assailants.13 Only 33%of teens who were in a violent relationship ever told anyone about the abuse.t3 If abuse has EVER happened to you or someone you know,the first thing you must understand is that it is NEVER the victim's fault. You must tell a trusted adult who will help and support you and REPORT it. National Domestic Hotline 1-800-799-7233 36 What arecr,,T the oF iziew.D . Building secure and healthy friendships is something we all want. We all need to have people in our lives that support us and help us when we are facing difficult circumstances. These relationships can become some of our most valuable possessions and bring the most joy to our lives. But what makes a true friend? What are the characteristics that separate the `true' friends from the `fake' friends? Fill in the sentences below to find out! Word Box: Supports / Accountable / Gossip / Insult When you tell your friend a secret but then • It is the day of your big game and just before they about you in the buzzer sounds, you look up and see your friend school the next day, this is an example of a `fake' friend. holding a sign with your jersey number on it. This `true' friend you all the way! You just got a new haircut that you really like. You are excited about showing it off tomorrow at school.When your friend sees you in the hallway they say'Wow,who did your hair so that I know who NOT to go to next time! What, I am just kidding!' Only a `fake' friend would you but then laugh it off as a joke. These are just some You are about to make an A in that math class you have of the differences been struggling with all semester. But,instead of studying between a for your next test, you really want to catch up on the fake'friend and a latest episode of that new TV show everyone is talking true'friend.turn the about. Your friend calls you to see what you are up to next page to complete and when you tell them that you are watching TV instead the True Friend Quiz to see of studying they say,"Put down the remote! I am coming how your friends measure up!over so we can study together.Then,we can finish the show." This`true'friend holds you to achieve your goals. 37 air. , List 5 friends who you think would be good people to hold you accountable: NAME: TOTAL: 1 2 3 4 5 C.. karacEerLsELcs H O W T 0 of a True PrLeAci• SCORE YOUR 1 Someone who is moving in a positive direction in his/her F R I E N D S life. 1 Look at the friends that you listed above. 2 Someone who you feel comfortable telling your goals and 2 Now start with Friend 1 and give him or her a point dreams to. for each friend characteristic that they meet from the 3 Someone you have known for a long time. Characteristics of a True Friend"list. 4 Someone who will be honest with you. 3 Do this for each friend. 5 Someone who does not talk about you behind your back. 6 Someone you talk to daily or weekly. 7 Someone who will encourage or correct you when you P1 (, 0 U R AC M C N T • need it. In the real world, you will need people to get you places. 8 Someone who has similar values and standards as you. You will need connections to help you get jobs and reach your goals and your dreams. Everyone who has been9Someoneyoucantrust. successful in life has had others who helped them. We 10 Someone who wants the best for you. all need to surround ourselves with good people to make us better and to help us reach our goals and dreams in life. This is one of the benefits of having True Friends. 38 o\BrB 6.161 4 Yours_10.This person is described as a"ROOT"which rep- resents someone you can depend on.They will tell you 0 `r v what you need to hear and not just what you 4 j 1 4 ,, want to hear.This is a friend that always r h.. respects you!They are not going any- r 1 1 t4k IV , 4 where.Stable,trust worthy,reliable, ha dependable and unselfish these are IAO' lb the words that represent this type 1 of friend. 4-6:This person is de scribed as a"BRANCH" iii 4k' which represents someone 7 i; who appears to be there for l /, . j t you and a good friend but the j' minute you really need them,they 1 /.. 7/ ic4 leave your side.Although you a V ' might have a lot in common with 7-•-"this person,they are people that j: could dessert you when you need them the most. 1• 0-3: This person is described as a"LEAF"which rep- resents someone who ONLY cares for themselves.They are people that usu- ii, 11 ally want something you have and sometimes enjoy disrespecting or insulting others including you.This person is all about taking and not giving.They can be fun at times but they use there negative influences to use people and bring 7 . `j' people down.RUN FAST!! r A U E V_ AMCW6 0 ° r N, P 0 . 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 - 0 39 DATINIOrvue L VE V . couni•zr`VSf iai AVVE U) How do you know when it is really love? When he or she is the one? Is love based on a feeling? Here are some ways to tell the difference between true love and counterfeit love. 0 True Love:Counterfeit Love: It is unconditional;it does not have to be earned. • It requires that you change to be accepted. It does not change,even when there is a distance • It is not faithful when distance separates. that separates. It is pushy,demanding,and unwilling to wait. It is wiling to wait. It is more concerned about self than the wants ammo It does not insist on"my way"without concern of others. for the wants of others.It is willing to tell big or small lies in order to la) It is honest,and not the slightest bit misleading make self look good. no white lies).It holds grudges and bitterness.It will bring LLIO It forgives.up past offenses in order to get one's way. It is kind and respectful. It is rude and does things to make the other feel It desires the best for the other person. bad about their self.1.0ItgiVesgenerously. It is jealous when others succeed. It is committed and does not hide that there is a • It resists giVing and withholds doing goodCt 4 relationship. for others. 41141111111111.1111.. It does not manipulate or control to try to get It is noncommittal and will deny that there is a one's way.relationship to others. It protects and does not hurt others on purpose. • It works hard to try to get one's way;will ma- It brings peace and a sense of confidence in peo-nipulate. 0ple. It protects self first. It brings embarrassment,hurt,and kills Cr)self-confidence in people. 40 RELAT10112141P No one is perfect.7 7 No relationship is perfect. However, it is important to know that you can have and should expect a healthy relationship. When you decide to date remember there is a big difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Healthy relationships are all about EQUALITY. A healthy relationship is all about respect. There will be trust, honesty, support, communication and accountability. Unhealthy relationships are all about POWER and CONTROL. An unhealthy relationship has no balance what so ever! There is disrespect, threats, intimidation, and even physical and emotional abuse. Relationships are designed to make US better and to help us live a fulfilled life. We encourage you to love YOU FIRST. When we love ourselves first we can began the process of removing the wrong people and adding more of the right people. Choosing to be a part of healthy relationships, whether it's dating or friends, determines the rest of your life. Remember you are priceless and you deserve the best! Dating is an awesome thing and it is very important to pay attention to certain signs so that you are able to identify any unhealthy behav- iors up front.Use this checklist to identify how your relationship measures up! My partner is cooperative even when things are not going their way My partner is committed to encouraging me towards my goals My partner listens to my feelings even when I am wrong My partner never embarrasses me My partner never lets me give up My partner does not intimidate me My partner has long term goals My partner socializes with my friends and family My partner gives me space to focus on my future goals My partner and I agree to disagree My partner does not check my cell phone,email,or social media sites with- out my permission My partner does not ask or force me to use drugs or alcohol My partner does not pressure me to have sex 41 Understanding our personal worth instills in us a responsibility to protect our goals with estab- lished boundaries and refusal strategies. In what ways could a healthy relationship benefit your goals? What boundaries could you establish to protect yourself from being involved in an unhealthy relationship? Time: People: Place: Media: Dress: Physical: 42 By using refusal sells throughout your life, you will be able to say `no' to the things that can takeyou AWAY from your dreams & 'yes' to those that will make your dreams become a reality. . . List the pressure strategies people have previously used on you in unhealthy relationships: List the refusal strategies you could have used to protect yourself: Relationships are such a major part of our lives.They either make us stronger by pushing us closer to our goals and dreams or make us weaker by pulling us away from the things that matter most to us.How might the content on Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships help you better understand the role you specifically play within your relationships?What will this mean for your family and friends? 43 leN4)N r , , r,) d risii4ci„ ria ,,„t5 - ‘,1.ri\j) ris41 jo 0 ,.......ski.,..1. 01. 0.00( 44 c,.. ....) k d„..:.;..).,-, 41::,..) CHAPTER FIVE U s e Question;do you like watching TV?What's your favorite show?What about your favorite movie?Ok,what about music,what kinds of music do you like?Rap,Pop,Country,Dub Step,R&B,etc.?Regardless of your preference,music is often referred to as the universal language because of its ability to communicate and influence. So,if music really is this powerful means of communicating and its messages are sometimes conveyed without words,what is your favorite music communicating to you?Think about it;what are the 3 things normally mentioned in today's music?Sex?Drugs?Partying?Do you see a trend in maybe what's being communicated in music and some of the trends in today's culture?Take drug use for example;there are so many songs that only talk about drug and alcohol use from one side;the fun,carefree,popular side.It's not very often that you hear a song about the effects of drug and alcohol use on the brain or how drugs can ruin your future.Well,that's what this chapter is all about—the truth concerning drugs and alcohol. STUDENT OBJECTIVE: I WILL IDENTIFY THE MOST COMMONLY USED SUBSTANCES AND THE ASSOCIATED SHORT AND LONG TERM EFFECTS. I WILL DISCUSS THE REASONS WHY PEOPLE CHOOSE TO USE SUBSTANCES AND THE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES ASSOCIATED WITH USING DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. Drugs area waste of time. They destroy your vvievvorb avid your self—respect avid everyt/1iv1S that noes alovi5 with your self—esteem." Kurt Co6aivf Drug misuse is vwt a disease; it is a decisiovi, like the decision to step out ivi frovlt of a movivig car. you would call that mot a disease but Gm error of judvvieiit," Philip K. Dick 44 You may not agree,but there are 4 some people who1, i r i r r' ij are just born to be a star. It's pretty obvious J Ii I early on in life that they r just have that "X Factor"! rDo you know anyone like this? Well, the pop-culture superstar Lindsay Lohan is arguably one of these people. She began her career as a child fashion model at the age of 3.By the age of 10,she landed a role in the famous television soap opera "Another World';and was already being referred to as a show-business veteran by her industry counterparts.After going on to star in several roles on television and the silver screen,multi-million ollar contracts with Disney,recording multiple chart-topping bums,and successfully launching her very own clothing line, ings began to take a plunge into a dark and dreary world o' rug and alcohol abuse for the star.Claims of late arrivals and bsences to movie sets, Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, 4 nd several attempts at sobriety from some of the nation's est rehabilitation centers,made it clear that her relationshi. vith these substances proved to be toxic. Unfortunately sh started losing contracts for major roles. She was repeated! eing replaced by other actresses for upcoming films due to I er inability to meet court appointed requirements to prow nd maintain sobriety. What may have started as a desperat- ttempt to help cope with all the fame and success, dru: Ind alcohol abuse only made matters worse for this talente. actress; turning what was so positive and promising into . rison of shame,humiliation,and interruption of dreams. ' 45 ALo% 0.1,0 v . Statistics . O r IL Trend- _ i Ilium Alcohol use alone is associated with 0 of all general crimes. 15 i Over N of intimate partner violence crimes involvialcohol use. 15 i 11, O4 According to the 2013 Youth Risk Behavior Survey, I IP of teens have used marijuana. 15 Over the past 5 years,alcohol use among high school sophomores has decreased from 2 V V O/ O 2 5 , /O. T O o 1 1 la I I1 0 4% ToCigarettesmokingisatanall-time low with high school senior students,from 1 6 iD . i I j i i i i 1 i1 o TO Synthetic Marijuana(1(2'and 'Spice')use has decreased overall from, 0 from 2011 to 2013. '6 1 I I More teens died from overdose on prescription pills thai those who overdose from cocaine, methamphetamine,and heroin combined! '? Drugs '1444'M'GUthe 4, ici,., 4111:Pite'er' lair 4 The brain continues to develop into adulthood and goes through an insane amount of changes during the teen years. The Prefrontal Cortex is one of the areas in the brain that is still maturing during the late teen years—the part of the brain that enables us to judge situations, make wise decisions, and keep our emotions and desires under control. Drug and alcohol abuse can disrupt brain function in areas 414 CI critical to motivation, memory, learning,judgment, and behavior control. Really think ' r•I about this:A teen's brain is not fully functional in regards to making logical decisions and ` l , f using self-control.It won't be fully developed until the early 20s.The fact that this critical km,J part of your brain is still a work-in-progress puts you at increased risk for poor decisions 1. such as trying drugs or continued abuse).Not to mention that early use(i.e.,in the teen years)and frequent use can make the consequences exponentially more severe.The bottom line is that your brain is still developing and using drugs while the brain is still developing may have profound and long-lasting consequences as drugs can change your brain.It is scientifically proven that drug use,even recreationally,changes the structure of the brain and can cause damage that can last into your adult years.Your brain is still developing,introducing drugs while the brain is still developing may have profound and long-lasting consequences. Remember, drugs change the brain. 0-1Z fi R g Ki.„A C 1* 0\4 Biology rain C Genes 9 vironmenQ` En tal titt6arlItnI 47 Are those HOLES In the BRAIN? 4 4 14 „V Normal SPECT scan of a 16 year old male. An underside view of a 16 Year old male-2 year history of smoking marijuana daily. With the increasing evolution of technology and health sciences,more and more research is being done on the health and wellness effects of drug and alcohol abuse.One of those areas of technology is known as SPECT scans(Single Photon Emission Computer Tomography).This technology scans the brain and produces a colorful picture of the brain that shows areas of brain activity as well as the surface and structure of the brain.In these two photos,you will see the SPECT scan of a normal and healthy brain from all four angles(bottom,left side,right side,and top angle).Notice that the surface of this brain is relatively smooth and only slightly bumpy.Now,look at the second image that shows the bottom angle of a 16-year old male brain that has a two year history of smoking marijuana daily.Notice the holes and rough surface?Marijuana,along with other substances such as alcohol,cocaine, meth,heroin,and prescription pills,can cause moderate to severe damage with every single use.Even using substances just once or twice a week can cause damage to the brain and normal brain functions.18 These damages in the brain can cause memory loss, lower attention span and lack of motivation,increased anger,anxiety,depression,and irritability.Some of these damages can be so severe that the brain may never return to total normal function.So the question is—do you want holes in YOUR brain? 48 As* Ir. p0PIC 0„1, 4 11111* 1.30.1alhIMEM•pealik. 44 111. V aus JSP 40e do lata ea @ Illegal dugs F the need to keep take a drug out of WA using a drug despite9 lethe problems it cunosity 1-2 times r So how do people become addicted to drugs and W caused or desire and may rot use the Q to stop Avg arp9ir 0 alcohol? Does addiction happen after just one r ii use? How do I know if I am addicted? These are using a drug in any occasionally use a all questions that people ask themselves when N amount o<frequency drugith kt8fds that stops you from doing use a drug atter school or on it comes to the addiction cycle. The cycle of the things you enloy. every day.but the weekends 4i! f ke sports,art or drug use does not addiction is slightly different for all of us but the 66, 3 hobby) ons NI interfere with resp ties and picture below gives us a general image of how dally life,like school or family people become addicted to drugs and alcohol. Isf, 7JdQ/Htll(,il-0 As you can see from the Addiction Cycle Wheel,true addiction begins cannot seem to stop using drugs even though it has created a lot of when a person continues to abuse the substance even if it causes conflict in your life and has been setting you back from your goals conflict in their life(grades begin to drop,fighting with family,no and dreams,you may want to seek help from a professional in order motivation to engage in fun activities or hobbies,getting arrested, to break the addiction cycle. If you or someone you know may be etc.). If you see one of your friends getting in trouble for using drugs, addicted to drugs, they cannot break this cycle alone. Encourage ask them why they won't stop using.If they respond with something them to get help and tell a trusted adult.Your guidance counselor is along the lines of"I don't care.I am still going to do it anyways,"then another great person to talk to about where to get the support needed they could be really struggling with an addiction. If you yourself in order to get on the right track.Break the addiction cycle today! 49 gp A , O C O O Q Stay informed, teach your friends and protect your direction by knowing the truth concerning substance use. Check out the Fact Sheet below on the most commonly used substances and their effects. DrugdAlcoholFactan Sheet SUBSTANCE NICKNAME DESCRIPTION EFFECTS A green and brown mix of dried blunt, dope, ganja, flowers, stems, seeds and leaves Harms short term memory and grass, herb,joint, bud, from the hemp plant Cannabis learning and coordination, it can Mary Jane, pot, reefer, sativa.1 The main active chemical harm the lungs, alters the brain Marijuana green, trees, smoke, is THC (tetrahydrocannabinol), and can actually lead to an inability skunk, weed, hash, which moves quickly through to recognize any negative impact. tea, chronic, loud the bloodstream to the brain and other organs throughout the body. MDMA(methylenedioxy- methamphetamine) is a synthetic, Increases your heart rate, the risk mind altering drug that acts bothMolly, ecstasy, XTC, of seizes, cause tremors, muscles X, E, Adam, Eve, as a stimulant and a hallucinogenic. cramps, nausea, faintness, chills, Other chemicals- such as caffeine, MDMA clarity, hug, beans, sweats, blurred vision, a downer love drug, lovers' dextromethorphan(D X M), that can last a week or longer amphetamines,PCP,or cocaine-are speed, peace, uppers and cause fatal overheating. sometimes added to,or substituted for MDMA, so purity is always a question, complicating its risks. 50 c hFact Sheet19Drugand I o of ciotith • SUBSTANCE NICKNAME DESCRIPTION EFFECTS Alcohol is a depressant that in small doses reduces tension.It also reduces Impairs brain and most body Drink,booze, your inhibition or your ability to stop functions, travels through the Alcohol yourself from doingsomethingyou bloodstream and can damage thebrew,liquor,sauce g might not want to,coordination and stomach, liver, kidneys and muscles reaction time. It is a gateway drug. Over-the-counter (OTC) drugs Both liquid cough syrups and the are products that are available tablet or capsule forms of medicine at supermarkets, drugstores and that contain DXM can distort your Over the Counter convenience stores. The most OTC) Sizzurp, lean, syrup visual perceptions and damage your commonly abused OTC drugs include sense of judgment. High doses can those that contain theingredientDXM lead to loss of coordination,dizziness, dextromethorphan), which is used nausea,hot flashes and hallucinations. to treat cough,cold and flu symptoms. Prescription drugs are medications legitimately prescribed by doctors Captain Cody, Cody, to treat a variety of health problems. schoolboy,doors&fours, Some people assume that since loads, oxy, oxycotton, they're legal when prescribed by oxycet, hillbilly heroin, a doctor, they must be safer than Various side effects: lack of percs Downers, downs, illegal drugs. There are three energy, inability to concentrate, nausea and vomiting/excessivebarbs, benzos, reds, red types that are commonly abused: vomiting, depression, confusion,birds, phennies, tooies, Painkillers which can be vital in yellowjackets, exhaustion and irritability, tremors,Prescription Drugs yellows, relieving severe pain due to physical sweating and anxiety, severe candy, sleeping pills, damage, cancer or other illnesses. withdrawal symptoms, includingtranks, xanies Uppers, Depressants which treat a variety anxiety, insomnia and musclebennies, black beauties, of health conditions, like anxiety,tremors,addictions, impairs motor crosses, hearts, truck panic attacks and sleep disorders. skills,accidental overdose and death.drivers, JIF, MPH, Stimulants which can help regulate R-ball, Skippy, the and normalize the dopamine and smart drug, vitamin R norepinephrine function in the brain, so a patient with this condition can focus better and pay more attention. 51 D Riu Gmateh- up ta line connecting the drug with the proper description: It is the most commonly abused illegal substance. It harms Alcohol short term memory and learning along with coordination. It linked to lower achievement in school, high levels of delinquent and aggressive behavior. Although it has become legal in several states, it can still be harmful due to the chemical NC. Prescription Pills Her nickname is MOLLY She increases your heart rate, the risk of seizes, cause tremors, muscles cramps, nausea, faintness, chills, sweats, blurred vision, a downer that can last a week or longer and cause fatal overheating. Marijuana It damages the brain and most body organs. the pre frontal cortex is most damaged by the abuse of this drug. It travels through the bloodstream and can damage the stomach, liver, kidneys and muscles. Can distort your visual perceptions and damage your sense MDMA of judgment. High doses can lead to loss of coordination, dizziness, nausea, hot flashes and hallucinations. The abuse of this drug has resulted in more deaths than cocaine and heroin combined. the serious side effects OTC included accidental overdose, addiction and death. 52 aCe r° Cad eerS re<e el sere 1 s reCe are a a° r°\ b V * I" ° C risoi vas a" re °\ vea ` r as tray tek se... ry Veer 0° s°, Me Why? Stress Environment Bored Rebellion The bottom line is that you must know Curiosity Stress relief what YOUR boundaries are A quick feeling of happiness concerning what you put inside Fun of your body.We are only given one body and it is OUR responsibility to protect it from substances Why Not?`? that could destroy it. Goals and Dreams No Regrets They don't want to lose their family Love Life Don't want to lose money What control over their own life Find happiness in other positive things Understand the risk and believes substances are not worth it M Understanding our personal worth instills in us a responsibility to protect our goals with established boundaries and refusal strategies. In what ways could using substances hinder your goals? What boundaries could you establish to protect yourself from using substances? Time: Media: li People: Dress: Place: Physical: I By using refusal strategies throughout your life,you will be able to say'no'to the things that can take you away from your dreams and'yes'to those that will make your dreams become a reality... List the pressure strategies people have previously used on you concerning using substances: List the refusal strategies you can use to protect yourself: Consider this...if there were no drugs or alcohol in the world,what kind of world would it be,what about your family, your school,your neighborhood?In the space provided below share your thoughts on how differently things would be if this were the case? Then tell us what you can do to try and help make this a reality: li CHAPTER SIX influences OK, quick! Think of the last song you heard on the radio or on your phone? Ok, what about the last TV show you watched? And what about the last social media post you made? Now write it down! Last song heard: Last TV show watched: Last social media post: All of those items you wrote down are some forms of media. Some other forms of media are magazines,newspapers,movies, billboards, cellphones, and advertisements. Now, what does media have to do with achieving your goals and dreams? EVERYTHING. As technology begins to become a part of every aspect of our lives,how we use media has the potential to influence and affect the choices we make.The purpose of media is to persuade,entertain,influence,and inform us.Throughout this chapter, we will explore how the media affects our daily lives and if this media pushes us towards or away from our goals and dreams. STUDENT OBJECTIVE: I WILL IDENTIFY THE PURPOSE OF THE MEDIA AND ITS VARIOUS FORMS. I WILL IDENTIFY VARIOUS POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE MEDIA INFLUENCES (IE. BODY IMAGE, DRUGS AND ALCOHOL, ETC.) I WILL LEARN THE IMPORTANCE OF ESTABLISHING PERSONAL MEDIA BOUNDARIES IN ORDER TO PROTECT MY LIFE'S VISION AND GOALS. Whoever covitrols the vviedic covitrols the vviivid" Jivv1 Morrisovi 55 J A ireI 1i / Y 4 , YI 11111) 1/4.) '' Tji h. i For six months, 13 year old, Georgia Woods suffered from Cyberbullying. Her bullies dedicated web pages to tormenting her with various hate mail sites and frequent visits to her social media pages to post reminders that she had "nothing to live for" 20 On various occasions, she thought about ending her life and taking their advice. Unlike some teenagers, Georgia decided to push past their hurtful words, set media boundaries and live! She ignored their advice and focused only on the things that made her come alive and today she is alive to share her story. 4Ie P, O I P ` c CII: i..;°\ 4;) 0 4 CD The effects A 1, Social media represents a variety of Internet sites that create the space for worldwide communication through audio, blogs,discussions, photos,and videos. We have various reasons for using these sites as many people enjoy looking at status updates, posting photos, videos and sometimes simply venting. put— most people use social media to distract themselves or because they are bored. These habits, however, can lead to addiction which is becoming so common that researchers have begun creating scales to measure them. Specifically, a scale was created to measure Facebook addiction called the Berge Facebook Addiction Scale WAS). Pretty soon they will have a scale for other sites as well... TheStruggleis .eal! What's the big deal? I am glad you asked... researchers discovered that this addiction can have a negative impact on our emotional health: In 2012,a research survey_on social media use and its emotional tffects discovered that ji O' of survey participants stated that social media sites altered their behavior and O of these participants shared that the change was negative. 21 These negative changes included feeling less confident, difficulty relaxing and sleeping after using the sites, feeling worried and uncomfortable from being unable Ito log on and weakened face-to-face interactions. Another concern was of course... Cyberbullying! Cyberbullying has a negative emotional impact on many and even costs some young people their lives. Although there are obvious negative effects of addiction, researchers find that iN liositive kvays' Cary spread aoolnc°n The research team discovered that pleasant post and status updates motivated others and concluded that this infectious spread of happiness could trigger a happy epidemic if magnified! So let's get to trending iposittvity!! 57 As mentioned earlier,the purpose of media is to persuade, entertain,influence,and inform us.Specifically,the media desires to influence our actions:what we buy,what we consume and what we believe.If you don't believe us,check out the power of the medias influences on your own life with this Jingle Activity below. 1. Taste the Rainbow! 2. Is It In You? 3. I'm lovipi It 4. Give nae a break.Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that... 5. Just Do It 6. Double the pleasure,double the fun... 7 My bologna has a first name my bologna has second name S. YUMMMMMMMM.... 9. What's in your wallet? 10. Like a good neighbor The amount of slogans you can remember represents the power of the medias influence.Although there are various forms of the media,we will simply discuss two:Social Media and Music.We will explore how these two media outlets influence our daily lives and if they push us towards or away from our goals and dreams. 58 Th p t •se F*Jegatives On average,teens spend 7.5 hours a day on some form of media(TV,cellphones,and social media)22.If you have a cellphone,think about how many times a day you check your text messages,Facebook,Twitter,Instagram,or take photos with friends.Maybe you check once or twice during class,a few more times in the hallway or during lunch,and then spend a couple of hours catching up with friends online after school.Sound about right?Technology and social media have become a huge part of how we communicate with friends and family and how we stay up to date on the latest information about the world around us. However, while there are GREAT aspects of this technology, there are negative aspects as well. Let's take a look at both sides of social media. p-e L7v, 7-6csii • es+ You are able to keep up with family and friends you have lost People that you do not know can follow your social media profile touch with.without your knowledge. You can keep your friends up to date on all of your latest life People you do not know can gain personal information about you experiences and milestones. including your name,school,age,and location. You are able to write a positive message on a friend's wall to Nearly 43%of teens have been bullied online.23 encourage them. 90%of teens who have seen social-media bullying have ignored it You can voice your opinions on certain social issues or`Like' and never said anything.23 certain charity websites,or posts. Teens who take inappropriate pictures of themselves run the You can take pictures with your friends to look at and share risk of their photos being posted on social media without their memories with after you graduate from high school. permission or someone using it as blackmail. You are able to post encouraging messages,quotes,and videos so • You can consistently post negative,hurtful,and angry messages someone else can be encouraged as well. that do not give people a very good impression of you. Can you think of any more positive and negative uses of social media? 59 1 h e 2 If you have ever watched a movie or TV show that shows the bad guy getting caught by the police, there is almost always a scene where they interview him in a room where someone is watching behind a two-way mirror. The bad guy cannot see who is watching him, but the police on the other side can see everything. This is what social media is like; a way for people to watch you and learn details about your life without you knowing. This two-way social media mirror can cause a number of problems in your life: Posting too much personal information can make you a target for people who may want to hurt you. ALWAYS USE THE PRIVACY SETTINGS ON YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNT! Along with privacy settings, you should never add someone as a `friend' or `follower' if you have never met them in person, and you should never post your address, school, or location. rn Future coaches,colleges,and employers can view your social media profile at any time.With this being the digital age,the majority of colleges and employers now look up their potential candidates EVEN BEFORE THE ACTUAL INTERVIEW. Our social media pages say a lot about our values, I morals,and hobbies.If a college or employer finds inappropriate posts,negative status,and photos that do not reflect the type of candidate they are looking for, they will dismiss you immediately. People can get the wrong idea about you. What you write, post, like, tweet, or share says a lot about who you are as a person and your personality. For example, if the majority of your status or tweets are negative, complaining about people at your school, or bashing others, then people will not consider you a nice person. Even though you may be nice in person, 0theirimpressionofyouhasbeenruined. In addition, if you post racy, inappropriate pictures showing too much skin, then people may think negatively about you and your self-worth. Just remember, make sure your social media profiles reflect the VERY BEST of you at all times. You never know who is watching. 60 C ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) (U ( ) (--) ooED o ( ) uiJLiE ) r ro ° Rr1LJ p El 4E, tuj A : 13121113 ( 1 . 1100 ADDICTED ? DDD Use the scale below to rate your media use: 0 - Never 1 -Very Rarely You spend a lot of time thinking about Social Media or planning to use it. 2-Rarely 3 -Sonietinies 4 - Often You feel the urge to use Social Media more and more. 5-Very Often You use Social Media in order to forget your personal problems. You have tried to cut down on your use of Social Media without success. You become restless or troubled if you are prohibited from using Social Media. You use Social Media so much that it has had a negative impact on your studies. TOTAL SCORE: If you score 4 or higher on 3 or more questions,you might be consuming too much media! Social media is a wonderful tool and at the same time it can cause some serious issues if not used correctly. Note:Although social media is here to stay,be careful of how much time you spend using it.Sometimes minutes turn into hours and hours can turn into unproductive days.Enjoy it,love it,but do not let it control you. 61 p11 CA) c.y3 Pi U S i .C Music is a universal language and the only form of media that can unify enemies in 4 minutes and 30 seconds.It can be used to help people escape from personal problems,can make people iii-; feel happy or sad by evoking emotions,can set a good atmosphere and help induce sleep, or calm someone down.Music,however,also has the potential to influence people 10"iiimS"" m in both positive and negative ways.For instance,many song lyrics refer to drugs,sex 4°".11146- 0 and alcohol and glorify the temporary side effects but not the long-term and often devastating side effects of these actions.Music also has the ability to influence people's outlook on these things,which isn't often the most positive perspectives. Essentially, the goal is to determine your limit!What we feed grows,and what we starve dies,so it's our responsibility to control the amount of negative influences that we choose to download and enjoy. 1 62 Chokiitaiyikaa : Say W At your leisure,listen to 10 songs on the radio.Write down the artist,title of the songs and the song's message. After 10 songs,identify the main topics mentioned in the songs. Did you hear any messages about sex,drugs or alcohol and violence?If so,list the topic(s)in the box next to the song.Consider this, if what you feed grows and what you starve dies...based on this activity,what are you feeding yourself?And what are you willing to starve? ARTIST SONG TITLE SONG MESSAGE MAIN TOPICS Sex,Drugs,Alcohol,Violence?) 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 63 Understanding our personal worth instills in us a responsibility to protect our goals with established boundaries and refusal strategies. In what ways could the media's influence hinder your goals? What boundaries could you establish when it comes to the media? Time: Media: People:Dress: Place:Physical: By using refusal strategies throughout your life,you will be able to say'no'to the things that can take you away from your dreams and'yes'to those that will make your dreams become a reality... List the pressure Strategies the media has previously used to influence your thinking in various areas(body image,relation- ships,sexual activity,substance use): List the refusal strategies you can use to protect yourself: 64 MEDIA Now that you know just how important it is for you to establish media boundaries, you shouldn't have a problem distancing yourself and giving your mind a break from the constant bombarding of messages. Consider spending a few hours,a day, or even a week or more with no social media (no texting,no Facebook,Instagram, Twitter, Vine, etc.). Reflect on your experience. Then consider establishing regular media boundaries to ensure that you feed your purpose and not your bad habits. How did it feel to purposefully neglect(texting,posting,tweeting,etc.)? What were the benefits and would you consider establishing regular media boundaries? What would they be? i) What would our world look like if more people did this? 11111 65 s ELF .I. HARm GAAPT4 BULLYING , SUICI Middle and High Schools are often full of exciting new opportunities for students. No matter what your interests are(sports, music, debate teams, volunteering, student body or leadership involvement), you can often find some program or club that covers whatever you are interested in. Becoming a part of these groups often provides a sense of community and belonging, along with other great benefits. But let's be honest; there are those times when absolutely nothing seems to fit a need we may have. No one seems to have the right words to say,and no game or activity quite provides the escape we're looking for. We may even say to ourselves,"...would the world be better off without me?" Have you ever had these feelings? Maybe you know someone who has? If the answer is yes, then this chapter will be helpful to you. First,you need to know that you are not alone. You also need to know that there are ways to deal with these very real emotions. You are unique, one of a kind and special. This chapter is all about helping you realize this so you can live the healthiest and most positive life possible! STUDENT OBJECTIVE: I WILL LEARN IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT SELF-HARM AND SUICIDE. I WILL IDENTIFY THE WARNING SIGNS OF SUICIDE. I WILL DISCUSS STRATEGIES TO USE TO HELP A STRUGGLING FRIEND. Depression is the inability to construct G future." Rollo MGy Carve a tunnel of hope through the dark mountain of disa p poivntvvme it." Martin Luther King, Jr. Sovne people won't be happy until they've pushed you to the ground. What you have to do is have the courage to stand your ground avid kwt give thews the tivne of day. Hold ova to your power G 'id never give it 614169." DoNviG Schaevirock 66 CALL9me from going forward.I could have done nothing STORY . BEING more selfish.And I am so thankful I realized that. MYSELF After that time in mylife,it was never an option anymore.P Shortly after that I got the news that I was failing the 8th grade. And I started thinking"Yeah!This really helps!"Really quickly my parents took me out of public school and put me into private school. So,I started thinking,"Maybe this is it!Maybe this is the time when I am finally going to have people like me!"And you know what!? They did.I became exactly what the cool crowd wanted me to be and they liked me.And you know what,I was miserable.I was just as used to really hate myself.I definitely hated my miserable as before.It finally clicked one day and I realized that the body. reason why I was miserable is because I was trying to be someone I hated my personality.And really,I just hated who I was not.The only time I was ever really happy was when I was my life.I thought everyone else hated it as well.I had being myself.When I was being who I was created to be,I realized this one friend at school who I went to for advice at that,just like everyone else,I was a unique individual,and that there the time.She was a girl I had grown up with.And of was no one like me! I had so much to offer.You know what is neat? course she turned out to be"Mrs.Beautiful"and I I started to set myself apart and decided that I was going to be more pretty much was"the pretty girl's friend."I never talked positive.I had been SO negative,maybe my teeth weren't as bad as I to anyone at school because I thought everyone was thought they were.So I just began to smile more.I just began to find making fun of me.I never smiled because I thought things to smile about.I found that it not only encouraged me,but it I had really gross teeth.And you know,no matter also encouraged those around me. how many times that I would look in a mirror,I never So,my challenge to you all is to just be yourself.You know what saw anything but just this disgusting,fat girl who had else is so neat?The cool crowd,that was so popular,who partied on nothing to offer.And you know,I finally got to a point the weekends and did all the crazy stuff,they would start coming to where I was just sick of it.I was sick of trying,I was me and saying,"Caleigh,I need someone to talk to who will be real sick of feeling like I was a constant failure,and suicide with me.I have these problems and I want to know the truth"It was started looking so good to me. amazing to me that they could see a chance in me and know that I So I started thinking,"Okay,you know I would never was trying to be better.You are all worth so much and have so much have to deal with my problems anymore,"which was to offer this world,consider my story and simply be yourself! true."And if this is all life has to offer,then I am done:' But you know what I kept thinking about?It was that one person who would have had to find me,and knowing that they were going to have to live with that picture in their minds for the rest of their lives stopped 67 A*** i /2 i„., i I„ 90p 46',Q,e ,,,,,,„v v 6 0 I,/ ° 04,i/ti " 9 O i,i) 29 0 9 • Demi Lovato grew up in Dallas,Texas and started her acting career on the children's television series,Barney&Friends. She learned to play the piano at the age of seven,guitar at the age of ten,and also enrolled in dance and acting classes. While Demi attended public school,she was bullied so harshly that she asked to be home schooled.In April 2009,she received her high school diploma and eventually became an avid spokesperson for an organization against bullying and also appeared on America's Next Top Model to create bullying awareness. Although she seemed to be experiencing great success,Demi dealt with depression,fighting an eating disorder,and was cutting before going to rehab in November,2010.Today,she is now healthier and gladly shares her experience with others to bring light to these emotional struggles.24 68 I The TRiviimiabout 11 % of teenagers have a depressive disorder by the age of 18.25 1I Nil Z teens are involved in self-harm behaviors like cutting or burning themselves.26 Bully victims are between Z TO times more likely to consider sucicide than non-victims. 27 1 At least / 2 of suicides among young people are related to bullying. 27 Nearly 300/ of students are either bullies or victims of bullying,and 1 60 II O O kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying.17 For youth between ages 10 and 24,suicide is the 3RD leading cause of death.2$ Of the reported suicides in the 10 to 24 age group, 817 of the deaths were males and 1 9 % were females.28 69 441411 A1A4 r A " OR1 4 .1bStek oi 040wie - i % 40e000411040. 404004k0 4fr° 0010040%0 4° 0%0' 4000%00 db0W- 40k0 09,444P ' 40tAOR4 444 ° 40' 40%00%00 ' 4W1P4/40%0 ' 40* A0 p. 4004b.0toCis'a"oti 0 . t is normal to have extreme feelings but it is very important to know that life has ups and downs and is sometimes a roller coaster. Some days are great, while other days you are waiting for the downward part of the roller coaster to be over. The most important thing to know is to not give up on yourself and not give up on your life. All problems in life will come and go, but our lives should not. Put yourself around people who will care about you when things are great and not so great. Hardships are a normal part of life; they are not fun but they are necessary. How we respond to those bad times will ensure our survival.There is a famous quote that we hear all the time,"What doesnt kill you makes you stronger",and it is so true! Challenges are designed to make you stronger, and going through these tough times builds character. Being willing to go through the tough times and not mask them with drugs, alcohol, cutting or sex can help you become a better person and not a bitter person. Recognize that these hard times will end and that it may never be perfect,but it will get better if you choose to change your perspective. You may never be able to change certain situations,but you do have the ability to change how you allow the situation to affect you. Giving up, gives others or a situation control over your happiness. Don't give up! You are priceless and the world needs you! It is so important if a friend ever tells you that they are or have considered suicide to tell your friend that you care about them so much,and because you care about them you are going to tell a trusted adult. Some people think that if a person talks about suicide,then they will not attempt it.THIS IS NOT TRUE.People who are contemplating suicide make comments for a variety of reasons and it is EXTREMELY important to take these remarks seriously,to help them seek mental treatment and an evaluation. IP() 4 C 0 60,. LV 1 0._ Ipop. - , 0litpp0. - ...-40 N 4 4 ,. . O . .„ 1111 illsolitg• ild .-di -.0 , i Ill 4001111110 •91_ 411011k,N . A) 011 10-4 is . .. O4iHs 44-.4..Øt HC4 . 4 4 0 . RI 0 ihmi. 4 0 biii...q 0 hi 4 kil ....1 Esp4p a000• • 1,, PIPP, ii -‘411111 0 1 k _ . ,,d _. / lA I . . _ tnM 71 DeprssLoi'DepressiooK CykeektiosE Although life has various ups and downs,we understand that depression is quite serious and not simply some- thing you can shake off. Use this checklist to help guide you toward receiving the help you may need.If you checked quite a few symptoms on the list and they have been true for you for 2-3 weeks,you should see a doctor or psychiatrist to be evaluated for clinical depression. Please take this short self-test,so you can decide if depression might be affecting you. Check all that you feel were true in the past 2 weeks: ElSad or empty feelings nearly every day ElIrritated or grouchy nearly every day Less interest or pleasure in things that used to be fun L111Avoiding friends and family,being alone more often Feeling fatigue or low energy nearly every day 111 Aches,pains,or body problems that you don't know why they are happening Less appetite,sometimes leads to weight loss LIISleeping a lot or not being able to sleep X nFeeling worthless,or very guilty nearly every day nHaving a hard time focusing or making decisions 11.1 Thinking a lot about death,or thinking about killing yourself If you have checked five or more of these,you might have depression.Depression is not something you should try to manage alone.It IS treatable!We encourage you to discuss the issues marked above with your parent(s)/guardian(s)." 72 Suicide is a permanent decision to a temporary problem.It is the deliberate decision to end your own life. Some of the warning signs of suicide can include: Displaying signs of depression,such as continuous sadness,pulling away from others,lost of interest in favorite activities,talking a lot about or showing major interest in death or dying,participating in daring or dangerous activities and more.If a person is displaying several of these symptoms,talk to them about your concerns and get them help right away,such as from a counselor,doctor,or at the emergency room.*''" Suicide is the 11th ranking cause of death for persons in the US.46'" According to the National Center for Health Statistics,the suicide rate for youths and young adults aged 15 to 24 years has tripled since 1950, and suicide is now the 3rd leading cause of death in this age 400;group. 45,46.47 4945 4Sir 4C) St IWO Although many people view bullying as normal behavior';a host of national teen suicides are being linked to bullying and raise serious concerns.27 Bullying or the intentional mistreatment of another person falls into three major categories:verbal,social,and physical.Verbal and Social mis- 11111: treatment that can be carried out by harassing someone or purposefully exclud- ing them.If this is done via technology it is considered cyberbullying while hazing 41)or assaulting someone is physical.Each form of bullying can have devastating emotional and psychological effects on young people;therefore,if you or someone you know is being bullied,ignoring the situation only makes it worst so do and say something before it is too late! 73 CUTTING SELF-INJURY Why do teens inflict violence on themselves? Dr.Whitlock,director of the Cornell Research Program on Self-Injurious Behavior in Adolescents and Young Adults,said in an interview that self-injury mainly seemed to be a result of teens trying to control their feelings.It was as if it helped them cope with overwhelming negative emotions that they did not know how to otherwise get rid of.49 Why the idea of cutting is such a bad idea: Self-injury can become addictive.Experts think that cut- It expresses emotional pain or feelings that ting and the like may be a habit that is hard to break once I'm unable to put into words" it is started because of the release in the brain of opioid I usually feel like I have a black hole in the pit of mylikeendorphinsthatresultinanaturalhighandemotional stomach.At least if I feel pain its better than nothing" relief.49 I feel relieved and less anxious after I cut. The Although 60 percent of self-injurers have never had sui- emotional pain slowly slips away into the physical pain" cidal thoughts,according to the New York Times in 2008, It's a way to have control over my self-injury can be a forerunner of suicidal behavior.It can body because I can't control anything also accidentally result in suicide.49 The National Institute else in my life" of Mental Health also records that"there is a high rate of self-injury without suicide intent"though some have ended in suicide.so 74 G E T E i If you have a friend who needs help with self-injury,treat this as seriously as you would a suicide threat.Read the article on the next page titled,"Steps to Helping a Friend in Need and Resources." Though cutting and self-injury may seem like a fad,they are extremely serious. Researchers have found some common characteristics among people who self-injure:49 A history of childhood sexual and/or emotional abuse has been reported by half or more of self-in- jurers! Some do it for the"relief"from the resulting emotional pain of past abuse. Others self-inflict pain to punish themselves for what they perceive as their role in inviting the abuse. Low self-esteem is common among self-injurers. Childhood neglect,social isolation and unstable living conditions have also been cited as common factors of some self-injurers. In about 25 percent of self-injurers,there is a history of eating disorders,as well as an overlap with risky drinking and unmarried sex. All of the risk factors and issues listed above require the guidance of a professional.Please,choose to get professional help if you are a self-injurer or if you know someone who has hurt themselves.Other ways to reduce stress: Join a sports team. Start jogging daily. Join a service-oriented group(like a soup kitchen). Start seeing a guidance counselor. Reach out to a friend. 75 Steps to Helpinga Friendin Need44' 45 Myth: Truth: I should not mention the word"suicide" Because people who are considering suicide feel alone and helpless, around a friend who I think is depressed, VS• the most helpful thing that you could do for a friend,a loved because I don't want to give him/her any ideas. one,or a family member is to communicate with him or her openly. 1. Know the Warning Signs: Listen & watch for signs of Suicide Extreme personality changes Neglect of personal appearance or cleanliness Lack of concern in activities that used to be of • Sadness,bad temper,or lack of interest in general interest Having trouble focusing Significant loss or gain in appetite Extreme worry,alarm,or fear Difficulty falling asleep or wanting to sleep all • Drug or alcohol use or abuse day Violent,destructive,or getting in trouble with Loss of energy or extreme tiredness authority Feelings of worthlessness or guilt Poor performance in school Isolation from family and friends Hallucinations or unusual beliefs 2. Be Honest Stress to them your willingness to listen.Let them know that they are IRREPLACEABLE. Reassure them that suicide is not an option.Stress to them that you care. 3. Don't Freak Out Discussing it without showing shock or disappointment is helpful. Calmly explain that he or she MUST get help from a professional. A lot of times people do not get help for a sickness or illness out of fear of the unknown;go with them to get help. 4. ACT! Tell a Professional Myth: Truth: If a person said that they have Any concerns about suicidal risk of a friend should be taken VS• sought help,then they are okay.seriously and evaluated by a professional. Myth: Truth: If someone is going to commit Most suicidal people don't really want death;they just want the pain to VS• suicide,then they will find a way end.If the threat is immediate,do not leave the person alone.Keep them to do it. Who am Ito try to stop talking by asking questions instead of arguing.Know that you are not be- them! traying someone's trust by trying to keep them alive!!! 76 R1 When was the last time you took a look in the mirror and O •noticed all of your unique qualities?Imagine there is huge mirror in front of you right now;imagine yourself staring into it for a few minutes. What do you see?Take a minute and 4kon write down all the quirky and dif- ferent things about yourself that really make you unique. isigio4411 111 77 1 A few chapters back we talked about healthy relationshipsS1andhowcriticaltheyaretoourfuturesuccess!We all need those people who will be a source of positivity in our lives; after all,what they say and do has a way of impacting where we're going. Approach one of your true friends and ask them to write down 10 uniquely positive things about you;not the fluffy stuff like"nice"and"cute",but unique talents,skills,and other qualities that really set you apart! positivity positivity positivity positivity positivity positivity positivity positivity Extra Challenge: Try posting this blurb on your favorite social media status,tag a few friends,and just watch how incredibly special they think you are! Post:"If you had to find 1 positive word to describe me,what would it be?End the post with#Positivity:' 78 UNDERSTANDING OUR persoiialworth instills in us a J141: j r i 1 `` to protect our GOALSwith established boundaries and strategies. In what ways could cutting or committing suicide hinder your goals? What boundaries could you establish to protect yourself from cutting or committing suicide? TIME: PEOPLE: PLACE: MEDIA: DRESS: PHYSICAL: By using refusal strategies throughout your life, you will be able to say"no" to the things that can take you away from your dreams and"yes"to those that will make your dreams become a reality... List the various situations in which you considered harming yourself. List positive alternatives you can use to protect yourself. 79 Cr1 r 1 I l r- F f K I N D N E k.y / AO' /It S S Now that you know just how important it is for you to hear positive things about yourself, you should be able to re- ally appreciate how that can also help someone else. Even if that person is a total stranger; we all need to know that we are valuable and unique! Each day this week, find a person who looks like they could really use some positive reinforcement, and just do it! Go up to them and say at least one good thing about them; even if it's a total stranger! What was the overall response to your Random Acts of Kindness? How do you think it made the person feel? How did it make you feel? What would our world look like if more people did this? 80 B • b r 046irif) 1°4 1. Farber,Neil.Throw Away Your Vision Board:Vision boards are for dreaming,action boards are for achieving.[Online][Cited:April 2,2014.] http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-blame-game/201205/throw-away-your-vision-board-0 2. Steve Jobs Biography.International Movie Database.[Online][Cited:April 2,2014]http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0423418/bio?ref =nm_ov_bio_sm 3. 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D'Orio,Barbara.Suicide Prevention:A Vital National Public Health Issue.Fall 2004,Journal of Health and Human Services Administration,pp.132-133. 48. Murphy,SL.National Vital Statistics Report 48.2002,National Center for Health Statistics,pp.11. 49. Brody,Jane E.Personal Health:The Growing Wave of Teenage Self-Injury.New York Times.[Online:May 16,2008.][Cited:May 6,2008.] http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/06/health 50. Borderline Personal Disorder#01-4928.National Institute of Mental Health.[Online:June 26,2008.][Cited:August 6,2008.] http://wwwnimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder.html 51. National Abstinence Eduation Association.(2013).Abstinence Works:Sexual Risk Avoidance(SRA)Abstinence Education Programs demonstrating improved teen outcomes. 82 NOTES NOTES I ILE EL. IN . . MI . • . . . . . . II . . . . II . MIII . . . . . . . . . M ELIE III . . mu • • • min • LE . IN . U. U. ie 14.95 ISBN 978-0-692-29803-9 1?e le 51495 > 9 780692 298039