04-1989 Atlantic Beach NewsAtlantic Beach News
Volume 1 - #3 Editor: Karen Moore Aoril 1989
FROM THE CITY CLERK'S DESK:
We are glad to know so many of you
enjoy and look forward to your
newsletter each month. We emphasize
this is YOUR newsletter and we
appreciate those of you who have
submitted articles; we solicit input
from those who have been silent.
If you have any items you wish to
include -either job related or personal -
we would like to hear from you.
Classified ads _for lawn care, hauling,
home or automobile maintenance, baby
sitting, etc., may be of interest to many
who have difficulty keeping up with
these areas. You are invited to use your
newsletter as a forum to advertise
these services.
We are anxious to know what kind of job
you think we are doing, so we have
provided a space on the last page for
your comments or suggestions on how
you feel we may improve. Let us hear
from you.
New Employees:
Phi i1 i p Nadeau i s one of our new brave
firefighters. Phillip lives in
Jacksonville Beach and is a bachelor,
girls!!
Dennis Herrmann also is new at the
Fire Department, is single, an Atlantic
Beach resident and graduate_ d from Ross
High School in Ross, Ohio.
From the "Hey, it's a small world'
.department: Ross, -Ohio -is outside -of
Greenhills, Ohio, where Karen Moore
grew up.
Birthdays:
Willie Davis 412
Jack Ogin 4f5
Charles Williams 4123
Jared Smith 4127
Cynthia Weathers 4127
Richard Murphy 4129
We would also like to welcome Ricky
Raccoon to Atlantic Beach. Rick, as
those of us who are close and personal
friends of the Rickster, is our new
spokesperson for the Atlantic Beach
Recycling program which becomes
mandatory in July. Rick will be making
appearances this spring and you .can
contact his agent, Rose Blanchard, at
Parks and Recreation to find out where.
Parks & Recreation Dept:
Friday, March 24, at 10 a.m., all 2 to 8
year- olds will be able to hunt eggs at
Jack Russell Park. Prizes will be given
to the 1st and 2nd place winners of each
age group: (2-5) and (6-8). This year we
will feature a Hat/Bonnet Contest.
Prizes for the best homemade hat in the
following categories: Biggest Hat,
Smallest Hat, Prettiest Hat and Funniest
Hat. SIGN UP IN THE P & R OFFICE
TRAILER or call to do so (241-7431), or
RAD 10 STATION #4. YOU NEED TO.SI,GN UP
SO ROSE WILL KNOW HOW MANY EGGS TO
LAY, OOPS, COOK!!!
Hey Rose, this eggs for you!
+o+
Atlantic Beach News, April 1989 Page 2
Parks & Recreation (Continued);
Saturday, April 1 begins Little League
1989 season. They will play all day
SATURDAY and SUNDAY. Come out and
watch some of the great talent these
young'uns have!
The Recycling Project has been one of
the most successful projects we have
undertaken in a long time. "it amazes
me the amount of recyclables we
generate." Rose stated. However, she
doesn't see as many Atlantic Beach
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Remember, Atlantic Beach residents
will participate in a MANDATORY
program in July!! We have to begin
somewhere, and this opportunity we are
affording our citizens a great way to
learn what is and what isn't acceptable
recycling. Remember what Ricky sez,
"GIVE IT BACK!"
Any of you or your spouses interested in
selling some of your talent laden
craf ts? The Spri ng Festi val wi l l be hel d
at Jack Russell Park on Saturday, May
13, from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. and will
feature crafts from many different
vendors .... YOU could be one! Go by the P &
R office to sign up. It doesn't cost a
cent and all the money you make is
YOURS to keep! You can't beat that.
Remember, though, no flea market
items, only new. Think about it.
Fellow employees:- Rose's "RECYCLING
EAGER BEAVER", Cynthia Weathers,is
recovering from surgery for a pinched
nerve... Sure would be nice if you took
some time to drop a card by Rosie's
office, just to say hi and get well! If
you haven't met her , you're missing a
tenderhearted Care Bear.....
Finance Department:
Congratulations to Harry Royal on
being appointed as chairman of the First
Coast Association of City Clerks and
Government Finance Officers. Harry was
appointed last year and somehow we
overlooked the announcement of this
yrP-At na%mo Qnrri i Arr
Caroiee Nelson and Joan Hunter are
braci ng themsel ves f or -the onsl aught of
400 new water customers with the
purchase of Atlantic Utilities. Our
great employees at the Buccaneer Plant
will be handling the new customers who
1 i ve i n the Oak Harbor Subdi vi si on. Watch
out, you guys, our City Clerk lives in Oak
Harbor and according to the gas
company, she's a pretty tough customer.
Animal Control Department:
BeeJay has been busy this last month. On
March 13 she got stuck on the beach. I
know, some of you would say, "what's
wrong with begin stuck on the beach, she
could get a good tan." However, she
literally got stuck on the beach, truck
and all. You see, Beejay was patrolling
the beach for those mangey mutts that
can't stay on a leash when she got a
little too close to the soft sand, and
BINGO, her tires, started spinning, but
she wasn't moving. She finally had a tow
truck come and rescue her. Don't feel
Atlantic Beach News April 1.989 Page 3
Animal Control (Continued):
badly Beejay, it has happened to the
best of them!!!
Speaking of Beejay, I heard she has
finally made it; the great crew at
Public Works has issued her a gold key
to the executive washroom at the City
Yard.
Public Works Department:
Guess whose hands get the dirtiest at
Public Works? Yes, the two guys in the
red shirts! But guess who got his hands
the cleanest recently? It was numero
uno mechanic Mike Marcum who
volunteered to wash down the dog
catcher's truck after she got herself
stuck in the north beach conquina after
the recent heavy surf. Thanks, Mike.
These two gents in red,Terry and Mike,
are invaluable in keeping us on wheels
as we cruise the City doing our jobs.
Report on Theresa's Tupperware
party:
City employees were invited to a
Tupperware party at Theresa
Blanchard's home last month. The
person voted the "Burp -top King" was
Chris Walker who was albe to "burp his
seal -top" more Chimes than anyone else.
Carleen Matthews and husband Butch
purchased lovely, plastic serving dishes
to complement their new home.
Everyone entertained themselves by
swapping>receipes.
Theresa's husband, Chris, mixed up a
wondreful fruit punch and ice cream
drink, with butter cookies served as
snack. Hey, Theresa, when is your next
Tupperware party? I want to be sure to
come to it.
From the TALK ABOUT BEING DUMPED
file, on March 10, Melvin Lentz and
David Campbell were picking up trash
in the Selva Marina area. Melvin was
driving the garbage truck and David was
riding on the back. Melvin looked, saw
David hanging `on the back, and drove
merrily on his way. David jumped off the
back to pick up a bag of trash. He looked
up too late and saw his truck and driver
movie on down the road. David screamed,
but Melvin couldn't hear him Melvin
proceeded to drive to the City Yard.'
Upon arrival, he discovered ,no David.
David, on the other hand had to walk
back to the Ci ty Yard f rom Sel va Mari na.
The journey took him about 30 minutes.
Tim Townsend, Division Chief at the
Sewer Plant, announced that ,John
Corcoran successfully passed the "C"
waste certification exam and obtained a
"C" water license in February.
Congratulations to John.
Chief David Thompson reported that
caution is being advised for all Easter
Bunny enthusiasts this year. It has been
reported that a "Bunny -Hugger" has been
seen (repeatedly) in Atlantic Beach. The
suspect is description is as follows:
WHITE, FEMALE, HUMAN, WEARING TAN
ANIMAL CONTROL UNIFORM AND DRIVING
A GREEN PICKUP TRUCK.... ANSWERS TO
THE NAME "BEEJAY ........ KNOWN TO BE
Atlantic Beach News April 1989 page 4
LOVEABLE, LOYAL, AND HOUSEBROKEN.
Anyone knowing the whereabouts of the
above human should use extreme caution
in apprehending her.
This picture of the suspect was taken while in the
process of hugging a poor bunny.
Fire Department News:
Chief Walter Rew announced the
promotions of two of our fine firemen
to the rank of Lieutenant. Richard
Murphy's promotion was effective
March 6 and J Carter Smith's
promotion date was March 9.
Congratulations to both of these fine
and dedicated firemen; keep up the good
work.
Speaking of Jay Smith, the following
article was submitted by Cub Reporter
and one of last month's swimsuit
edition models, Georgia Horn.
Wednesday, March 15 at approximately___
1:30 a.m., I was awakened by a loud
banging noise (Cub reporter Horn must
not have had her ear plugs in 'cuz I would
consider this noisy @*%* on the beach),
and I immediately telephoned the
Atlantic Beach police station to report
what sounded like a car accident. I then
went outside and discovered the
accident was in the parking lot of City
Hall. When I arrived on the scene, I
noticed Lt. J. Carter Smith, who was .of f
duty, assisting the driver of the vehicle
whose leg was caught under the
dashboard due to the impact of the
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Beach resident, was hysterical and Lt.
Smith, kept her still while assuring her
the Fire Rescue vehicle was on its way.
Atlantic Beach Police arrived on the
scene along with two Atlantic Beach
Fire trucks and took control of the
situation while awaiting Fire Rescue's
vehicle. Lt. Smith stayed on the scene
until the woman was transported to
Beaches Medical Center. it is
comforting to know we have such
dedicated firemen in this wonderful City
of ours.
Footnote from Editor:
Georgia rushed over in her natural state
(no makeup or foofoo), which sent the
lady into deeper hysterics!!!
Heg Jag,A
this star's
for You M
Atlantic Beach News April 1969 --P—aQe
City Manager's Department
The City Commission at their regular
meeting of Monday March 13 took the
f of l owi ng acti ons:
--Authorized the holding of an Easter
Sunrise Service on the beach at the foot
of Atlantic Boulevard.
--Accepted the bid of Oaks Wholesale
Distributors in Rockledge for the
purchase of 18 surplus Smith & Wesson
revolvers from the Atlantic Beach
Police Department for a total price of
$2,250.
--Authorized the Fleet Reserve
Association to hold a carnival March
23 -April 2, with the understanding that
certain hours be observed and any
problems with noise will result in a
shutdown of the activities.
--Adopted a Resolution urging the
expediting of the construction of the
Wonderwood Expressway.
--Presented to the Honorable Mayor
William S. Howell a plaque in
appreciation of his being selected the E.
Harris Drew Municipal Official of the
Year and instructed the City Manager to
have a similar type plaque made for
hanging in City Hall.
--Declared surplus, and authorized for
disposition at public auction March 17,
certain items confiscated by the
Atlantic Beach Police Department, and
surplus items from other City
departments.
1 know you -have all been-- anxiously
awaiting the answer to last month's
baseball puzzle. I had planned on printing
another picture of it in case you forgot
what it looked like, but due to factors
beyond my control, I cannot. The answer
is: 5 to 4, bottom of the fifth, one out
(this picture was the obscene picture
they would not let me reprint), no one
on.
There is no truth to the rumor that:
--It was recognized that the only
employee in the City without a computer
of some kind was suffering from anxiety
attacks. For that reason, we have
borrowed a "lite brite" set to help this
person until a real computer can be
secured. It will not perform any useful
function.... so it appears to be custom
made for government use.
--The next swimsuit edition will be
postponed... the editor/model is waiting
for the bruises to heal that were left on
her neck by her ex -friend and co-worker,
Georgia Horn.
--Now that the Curfew Ordinance has
been passed, the police have had to
determine what "special activities" are
exempt. The following activities have
not been accepted as valid reasons for
juveniles to be out past the curfew
limits;
a) Meeting with the Iranians to sell
weapons and funnel the money to the
Contras;
b) Hauling large quantities of gold
chains and jewelry around their necks as
_a -part -of an a11-nigilt__de1i uerA _ser_vi_cet__
c) Any activity in which John Tower or
Atlantic Beach News April 1989 Page 6
the Oklahoma football team has been
know to participate;
d ) Any activity involving the use of spray
paint;
e) censored!!!!!!!!
-- The house seized on Francis Avenue
will soon be converted to City use... The
Parks and Recreation Department and
Animal Control will share the facilities.
-- The City's new investment policy will
restrict the Finance Director to soy bean
futures and pork bellies. Such
investments as bonds and CDs are
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, with.
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municipal funds.
--The job description for City Engineer
failed to include some necessary
qualifications including:
a) Engineers must be forced to
participate in any and all actions that
result in the use of the Consultants
Competive Negotiations Act;
b) Engineers must be willing to submit to
extensive de -programing so that they
might learn to function within a stated
budget;
c)The applicant must maintain a golf
handicap above that of City
Commissioners;
d)Applicants must be familiar with
specialized tools of the trade, and must
demonstrate a working knowledge of
such complicated instruments as a
shovel, wrench, adjustable wrench,
hammer and screwdriver. (Applicant
must not be allergic to dirt, and must
have perspired at least once in the past
six months. )
e) Engineers with cute names like "Casey
Jones" will be penalized for providing
such an easy target for demented,
frustrated newsletter contributors;
--The City Commission's Resolution
supporting the construction of the
Wonderwood Expressway was in need of
more forceful language. However, adding
the phrase "... You ignorant @#%*"' to the
end of the Resolution was not deemed an
appropriate solution.
It is true that:
--City employees have questioned the
4UJlC'+J aIiU JV.tiiiiiLv 01 w/ioJ
contributing to the newsletter and we
have concluded that the writers have
neither.
--After the February 27th Commission
meeting, the Boy Scouts from Troop 37
have now had more direct participation in
their City government than most adults
living in our fair City.
--There is an answer to Mayor Gulliford's
question "What is the difference in a
bookkeeper and an accountant?" When you
ask a bookkeeper, "What is 2+2?" He
replies, "Four. " When you ask an
accountant "What is 2+2, " He asks, "What
do you want it to be?"
--On March 2, a young man's worst
nightmare came true. He was driving the
truck that slammed into the rear of a car
on Atlantic Blvd. The injured driver of
the car was not only a police officer, but
was the Chief of Police!
t
Atlantic Beach News April 1989 Page 7
Letter to the Editor:
Dear Editor,
Your previous edition contained a
baseball puzzle for readers to try to
solve. I found the inclusion of a baseball
puzzle to be fundamentally insulting. I
am a member of "The Holy Order of
Footballology," and a baseball puzzle
violates the tenets of our faith. For this
reason, the inner circle of our order
has offered $10000,000 for your
assassination.
Our usual services include the
consumption of cheap beer, leering at
cheerleaders, ignoring our families,
wearing dirty undershirts, and telling
lies about our glory days. We need
some publicity, and we agreed that your
assassination would help our cause.
Have a NICE day.
Signed: The Grand Supreme Quarterback
of the Atlantic Beach Chapter of the
Order of Footballology.
Dear -Grand Supremee,
Hit me with your best shot, fire
away!!!!(wasn't that a song????)
Signed: The Editor
Recipes from Karen:
Maureen's Meat Loaf
1 1/2 lbs of ground beef
1/2 lb of ground pork
1 egg
I cups of oatmeal
dash of Vorcestershire sauce
Medium chopped onion
celery seeds & plenty of pepper
Maureen's Meat Loaf (cont'd )
1/4 ketchup
dash of Tabasco (if you like sting)
In a microwave; cover and cook 5 minutes
on medium high. Top with ketchup, cook
15 minutes on high or until temp. probe
registers 160 degrees F.
Helpful laundry hints from the City
Cleric:
Maureen , who grew up in Ireland and
took a bath only once a week, recently
discovered SPRAY STARCH for the first
time!!!! So her laundry tip for this month,
use spary starch on all your laundry and
watch your husband sit up straight!H!
Maureen is married to a great GUY H
Any of you vho are having problems with
your job, your boss, your employees, your
home life or your love life write
alzar maur elm
Yes, that's right ire now have our of Dear
Abby right here in City Hall. She will listen to
your problems and try and solved them. If you
are having problems Frith your employees,
she'll talk to them to try and solve everyone's
problems. Ain't life grand! She grants to hear
from you, just write her or call City Hall and
ask for
alzar mauruullftfff
ALianLic Deacn nexus pipril 19,09 rage o
And ales, ire have come to the end of yet
another newsletter, but ve want to leave you
Frith some thoughts for the month from Rose
Blanchard.
--Too many folks who know all
about financial values know
nothing about human values.
--The employee who butters up
the boss is usually the one who
can't cut the mustard.
--1 don't remember ever seeing
a happy man who had nothing to
do.
An anonymous person (someone
with no guts to leave their
name) left the following note
on my desk this morning:
To: newsletter At n: Daren
All I want is:
Less to do;
More time to do it in;
More monexj for not
getting it done.
/s/anonUmous
Dear Anonymous,
Urite to Dear noureen; maybe
she an get you a raise!!!
/s/ Editor
And now it's time to go and
have a big DRINK of
......coffee.
Please list your comments or suggestions below and
return it to Maureen or Karen at City Hall. Thanxs
SEE YOU NEXT MONTH!!!!!