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04-1989 Atlantic Beach NewsAtlantic Beach News Volume 1 - #3 Editor: Karen Moore Aoril 1989 FROM THE CITY CLERK'S DESK: We are glad to know so many of you enjoy and look forward to your newsletter each month. We emphasize this is YOUR newsletter and we appreciate those of you who have submitted articles; we solicit input from those who have been silent. If you have any items you wish to include -either job related or personal - we would like to hear from you. Classified ads _for lawn care, hauling, home or automobile maintenance, baby sitting, etc., may be of interest to many who have difficulty keeping up with these areas. You are invited to use your newsletter as a forum to advertise these services. We are anxious to know what kind of job you think we are doing, so we have provided a space on the last page for your comments or suggestions on how you feel we may improve. Let us hear from you. New Employees: Phi i1 i p Nadeau i s one of our new brave firefighters. Phillip lives in Jacksonville Beach and is a bachelor, girls!! Dennis Herrmann also is new at the Fire Department, is single, an Atlantic Beach resident and graduate_ d from Ross High School in Ross, Ohio. From the "Hey, it's a small world' .department: Ross, -Ohio -is outside -of Greenhills, Ohio, where Karen Moore grew up. Birthdays: Willie Davis 412 Jack Ogin 4f5 Charles Williams 4123 Jared Smith 4127 Cynthia Weathers 4127 Richard Murphy 4129 We would also like to welcome Ricky Raccoon to Atlantic Beach. Rick, as those of us who are close and personal friends of the Rickster, is our new spokesperson for the Atlantic Beach Recycling program which becomes mandatory in July. Rick will be making appearances this spring and you .can contact his agent, Rose Blanchard, at Parks and Recreation to find out where. Parks & Recreation Dept: Friday, March 24, at 10 a.m., all 2 to 8 year- olds will be able to hunt eggs at Jack Russell Park. Prizes will be given to the 1st and 2nd place winners of each age group: (2-5) and (6-8). This year we will feature a Hat/Bonnet Contest. Prizes for the best homemade hat in the following categories: Biggest Hat, Smallest Hat, Prettiest Hat and Funniest Hat. SIGN UP IN THE P & R OFFICE TRAILER or call to do so (241-7431), or RAD 10 STATION #4. YOU NEED TO.SI,GN UP SO ROSE WILL KNOW HOW MANY EGGS TO LAY, OOPS, COOK!!! Hey Rose, this eggs for you! +o+ Atlantic Beach News, April 1989 Page 2 Parks & Recreation (Continued); Saturday, April 1 begins Little League 1989 season. They will play all day SATURDAY and SUNDAY. Come out and watch some of the great talent these young'uns have! The Recycling Project has been one of the most successful projects we have undertaken in a long time. "it amazes me the amount of recyclables we generate." Rose stated. However, she doesn't see as many Atlantic Beach mm�le�eennn�c clnA nooeic- #n n�a0 VIf1W.WtJ-w— -- --- .9---- — www..... Remember, Atlantic Beach residents will participate in a MANDATORY program in July!! We have to begin somewhere, and this opportunity we are affording our citizens a great way to learn what is and what isn't acceptable recycling. Remember what Ricky sez, "GIVE IT BACK!" Any of you or your spouses interested in selling some of your talent laden craf ts? The Spri ng Festi val wi l l be hel d at Jack Russell Park on Saturday, May 13, from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. and will feature crafts from many different vendors .... YOU could be one! Go by the P & R office to sign up. It doesn't cost a cent and all the money you make is YOURS to keep! You can't beat that. Remember, though, no flea market items, only new. Think about it. Fellow employees:- Rose's "RECYCLING EAGER BEAVER", Cynthia Weathers,is recovering from surgery for a pinched nerve... Sure would be nice if you took some time to drop a card by Rosie's office, just to say hi and get well! If you haven't met her , you're missing a tenderhearted Care Bear..... Finance Department: Congratulations to Harry Royal on being appointed as chairman of the First Coast Association of City Clerks and Government Finance Officers. Harry was appointed last year and somehow we overlooked the announcement of this yrP-At na%mo Qnrri i Arr Caroiee Nelson and Joan Hunter are braci ng themsel ves f or -the onsl aught of 400 new water customers with the purchase of Atlantic Utilities. Our great employees at the Buccaneer Plant will be handling the new customers who 1 i ve i n the Oak Harbor Subdi vi si on. Watch out, you guys, our City Clerk lives in Oak Harbor and according to the gas company, she's a pretty tough customer. Animal Control Department: BeeJay has been busy this last month. On March 13 she got stuck on the beach. I know, some of you would say, "what's wrong with begin stuck on the beach, she could get a good tan." However, she literally got stuck on the beach, truck and all. You see, Beejay was patrolling the beach for those mangey mutts that can't stay on a leash when she got a little too close to the soft sand, and BINGO, her tires, started spinning, but she wasn't moving. She finally had a tow truck come and rescue her. Don't feel Atlantic Beach News April 1.989 Page 3 Animal Control (Continued): badly Beejay, it has happened to the best of them!!! Speaking of Beejay, I heard she has finally made it; the great crew at Public Works has issued her a gold key to the executive washroom at the City Yard. Public Works Department: Guess whose hands get the dirtiest at Public Works? Yes, the two guys in the red shirts! But guess who got his hands the cleanest recently? It was numero uno mechanic Mike Marcum who volunteered to wash down the dog catcher's truck after she got herself stuck in the north beach conquina after the recent heavy surf. Thanks, Mike. These two gents in red,Terry and Mike, are invaluable in keeping us on wheels as we cruise the City doing our jobs. Report on Theresa's Tupperware party: City employees were invited to a Tupperware party at Theresa Blanchard's home last month. The person voted the "Burp -top King" was Chris Walker who was albe to "burp his seal -top" more Chimes than anyone else. Carleen Matthews and husband Butch purchased lovely, plastic serving dishes to complement their new home. Everyone entertained themselves by swapping>receipes. Theresa's husband, Chris, mixed up a wondreful fruit punch and ice cream drink, with butter cookies served as snack. Hey, Theresa, when is your next Tupperware party? I want to be sure to come to it. From the TALK ABOUT BEING DUMPED file, on March 10, Melvin Lentz and David Campbell were picking up trash in the Selva Marina area. Melvin was driving the garbage truck and David was riding on the back. Melvin looked, saw David hanging `on the back, and drove merrily on his way. David jumped off the back to pick up a bag of trash. He looked up too late and saw his truck and driver movie on down the road. David screamed, but Melvin couldn't hear him Melvin proceeded to drive to the City Yard.' Upon arrival, he discovered ,no David. David, on the other hand had to walk back to the Ci ty Yard f rom Sel va Mari na. The journey took him about 30 minutes. Tim Townsend, Division Chief at the Sewer Plant, announced that ,John Corcoran successfully passed the "C" waste certification exam and obtained a "C" water license in February. Congratulations to John. Chief David Thompson reported that caution is being advised for all Easter Bunny enthusiasts this year. It has been reported that a "Bunny -Hugger" has been seen (repeatedly) in Atlantic Beach. The suspect is description is as follows: WHITE, FEMALE, HUMAN, WEARING TAN ANIMAL CONTROL UNIFORM AND DRIVING A GREEN PICKUP TRUCK.... ANSWERS TO THE NAME "BEEJAY ........ KNOWN TO BE Atlantic Beach News April 1989 page 4 LOVEABLE, LOYAL, AND HOUSEBROKEN. Anyone knowing the whereabouts of the above human should use extreme caution in apprehending her. This picture of the suspect was taken while in the process of hugging a poor bunny. Fire Department News: Chief Walter Rew announced the promotions of two of our fine firemen to the rank of Lieutenant. Richard Murphy's promotion was effective March 6 and J Carter Smith's promotion date was March 9. Congratulations to both of these fine and dedicated firemen; keep up the good work. Speaking of Jay Smith, the following article was submitted by Cub Reporter and one of last month's swimsuit edition models, Georgia Horn. Wednesday, March 15 at approximately___ 1:30 a.m., I was awakened by a loud banging noise (Cub reporter Horn must not have had her ear plugs in 'cuz I would consider this noisy @*%* on the beach), and I immediately telephoned the Atlantic Beach police station to report what sounded like a car accident. I then went outside and discovered the accident was in the parking lot of City Hall. When I arrived on the scene, I noticed Lt. J. Carter Smith, who was .of f duty, assisting the driver of the vehicle whose leg was caught under the dashboard due to the impact of the rrAgh Tha wnms2n, Whn W2S 2n n+lgn+i,. .. .-• • ••, .. ..i is ..v �.+i➢ iYvi�7ii li4. Beach resident, was hysterical and Lt. Smith, kept her still while assuring her the Fire Rescue vehicle was on its way. Atlantic Beach Police arrived on the scene along with two Atlantic Beach Fire trucks and took control of the situation while awaiting Fire Rescue's vehicle. Lt. Smith stayed on the scene until the woman was transported to Beaches Medical Center. it is comforting to know we have such dedicated firemen in this wonderful City of ours. Footnote from Editor: Georgia rushed over in her natural state (no makeup or foofoo), which sent the lady into deeper hysterics!!! Heg Jag,A this star's for You M Atlantic Beach News April 1969 --P—aQe City Manager's Department The City Commission at their regular meeting of Monday March 13 took the f of l owi ng acti ons: --Authorized the holding of an Easter Sunrise Service on the beach at the foot of Atlantic Boulevard. --Accepted the bid of Oaks Wholesale Distributors in Rockledge for the purchase of 18 surplus Smith & Wesson revolvers from the Atlantic Beach Police Department for a total price of $2,250. --Authorized the Fleet Reserve Association to hold a carnival March 23 -April 2, with the understanding that certain hours be observed and any problems with noise will result in a shutdown of the activities. --Adopted a Resolution urging the expediting of the construction of the Wonderwood Expressway. --Presented to the Honorable Mayor William S. Howell a plaque in appreciation of his being selected the E. Harris Drew Municipal Official of the Year and instructed the City Manager to have a similar type plaque made for hanging in City Hall. --Declared surplus, and authorized for disposition at public auction March 17, certain items confiscated by the Atlantic Beach Police Department, and surplus items from other City departments. 1 know you -have all been-- anxiously awaiting the answer to last month's baseball puzzle. I had planned on printing another picture of it in case you forgot what it looked like, but due to factors beyond my control, I cannot. The answer is: 5 to 4, bottom of the fifth, one out (this picture was the obscene picture they would not let me reprint), no one on. There is no truth to the rumor that: --It was recognized that the only employee in the City without a computer of some kind was suffering from anxiety attacks. For that reason, we have borrowed a "lite brite" set to help this person until a real computer can be secured. It will not perform any useful function.... so it appears to be custom made for government use. --The next swimsuit edition will be postponed... the editor/model is waiting for the bruises to heal that were left on her neck by her ex -friend and co-worker, Georgia Horn. --Now that the Curfew Ordinance has been passed, the police have had to determine what "special activities" are exempt. The following activities have not been accepted as valid reasons for juveniles to be out past the curfew limits; a) Meeting with the Iranians to sell weapons and funnel the money to the Contras; b) Hauling large quantities of gold chains and jewelry around their necks as _a -part -of an a11-nigilt__de1i uerA _ser_vi_cet__ c) Any activity in which John Tower or Atlantic Beach News April 1989 Page 6 the Oklahoma football team has been know to participate; d ) Any activity involving the use of spray paint; e) censored!!!!!!!! -- The house seized on Francis Avenue will soon be converted to City use... The Parks and Recreation Department and Animal Control will share the facilities. -- The City's new investment policy will restrict the Finance Director to soy bean futures and pork bellies. Such investments as bonds and CDs are 4 ?! a_l.., loo l �a7 .,, AD trust , with. UU�UIUIGI � lUU •YUIUt11G iV ll U•7i Yt Ilii municipal funds. --The job description for City Engineer failed to include some necessary qualifications including: a) Engineers must be forced to participate in any and all actions that result in the use of the Consultants Competive Negotiations Act; b) Engineers must be willing to submit to extensive de -programing so that they might learn to function within a stated budget; c)The applicant must maintain a golf handicap above that of City Commissioners; d)Applicants must be familiar with specialized tools of the trade, and must demonstrate a working knowledge of such complicated instruments as a shovel, wrench, adjustable wrench, hammer and screwdriver. (Applicant must not be allergic to dirt, and must have perspired at least once in the past six months. ) e) Engineers with cute names like "Casey Jones" will be penalized for providing such an easy target for demented, frustrated newsletter contributors; --The City Commission's Resolution supporting the construction of the Wonderwood Expressway was in need of more forceful language. However, adding the phrase "... You ignorant @#%*"' to the end of the Resolution was not deemed an appropriate solution. It is true that: --City employees have questioned the 4UJlC'+J aIiU JV.tiiiiiLv 01 w/ioJ contributing to the newsletter and we have concluded that the writers have neither. --After the February 27th Commission meeting, the Boy Scouts from Troop 37 have now had more direct participation in their City government than most adults living in our fair City. --There is an answer to Mayor Gulliford's question "What is the difference in a bookkeeper and an accountant?" When you ask a bookkeeper, "What is 2+2?" He replies, "Four. " When you ask an accountant "What is 2+2, " He asks, "What do you want it to be?" --On March 2, a young man's worst nightmare came true. He was driving the truck that slammed into the rear of a car on Atlantic Blvd. The injured driver of the car was not only a police officer, but was the Chief of Police! t Atlantic Beach News April 1989 Page 7 Letter to the Editor: Dear Editor, Your previous edition contained a baseball puzzle for readers to try to solve. I found the inclusion of a baseball puzzle to be fundamentally insulting. I am a member of "The Holy Order of Footballology," and a baseball puzzle violates the tenets of our faith. For this reason, the inner circle of our order has offered $10000,000 for your assassination. Our usual services include the consumption of cheap beer, leering at cheerleaders, ignoring our families, wearing dirty undershirts, and telling lies about our glory days. We need some publicity, and we agreed that your assassination would help our cause. Have a NICE day. Signed: The Grand Supreme Quarterback of the Atlantic Beach Chapter of the Order of Footballology. Dear -Grand Supremee, Hit me with your best shot, fire away!!!!(wasn't that a song????) Signed: The Editor Recipes from Karen: Maureen's Meat Loaf 1 1/2 lbs of ground beef 1/2 lb of ground pork 1 egg I cups of oatmeal dash of Vorcestershire sauce Medium chopped onion celery seeds & plenty of pepper Maureen's Meat Loaf (cont'd ) 1/4 ketchup dash of Tabasco (if you like sting) In a microwave; cover and cook 5 minutes on medium high. Top with ketchup, cook 15 minutes on high or until temp. probe registers 160 degrees F. Helpful laundry hints from the City Cleric: Maureen , who grew up in Ireland and took a bath only once a week, recently discovered SPRAY STARCH for the first time!!!! So her laundry tip for this month, use spary starch on all your laundry and watch your husband sit up straight!H! Maureen is married to a great GUY H Any of you vho are having problems with your job, your boss, your employees, your home life or your love life write alzar maur elm Yes, that's right ire now have our of Dear Abby right here in City Hall. She will listen to your problems and try and solved them. If you are having problems Frith your employees, she'll talk to them to try and solve everyone's problems. Ain't life grand! She grants to hear from you, just write her or call City Hall and ask for alzar mauruullftfff ALianLic Deacn nexus pipril 19,09 rage o And ales, ire have come to the end of yet another newsletter, but ve want to leave you Frith some thoughts for the month from Rose Blanchard. --Too many folks who know all about financial values know nothing about human values. --The employee who butters up the boss is usually the one who can't cut the mustard. --1 don't remember ever seeing a happy man who had nothing to do. An anonymous person (someone with no guts to leave their name) left the following note on my desk this morning: To: newsletter At n: Daren All I want is: Less to do; More time to do it in; More monexj for not getting it done. /s/anonUmous Dear Anonymous, Urite to Dear noureen; maybe she an get you a raise!!! /s/ Editor And now it's time to go and have a big DRINK of ......coffee. Please list your comments or suggestions below and return it to Maureen or Karen at City Hall. Thanxs SEE YOU NEXT MONTH!!!!!